Life — September 14, 1928 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lit FE Sue: So you're actually a diplomat! How perfectly thrilling! You must come right our into the garden and tell me all the latest dirt. they are laughingly called, the other night.....Hi Philips got sore as you- knowhat at the Paramount last week because an usher only gave him two bows.....The Park Central Hotel Roof is where the “mob” fT TTF] is collecting after | om | theater time..... | v When a girl a proached Paul Whiteman at a stage door and cooed: “Oh, Mr. White- man, don’t you re- member me?” a clown _ interrupted: “Sure he does, lady. An elephant never forgets!""....Van of Van and Schenck drinks his breakfast java out of a spe- cially prepared quart mug.....*Red” Grange’s hair is not red and the Peter (Lois Long) Arnos have named _ their le “Meadows” so that neighbors will think they have a butler. Walter Winchell. A WOMAN'S “NO” MEANS: Pernaps....Some day....Never.... Impossible... .Certainly....I'l think about it....Of course not....I doubt it ..+-Certainly not....Well, if you insist «.+-Yes....Not now....NO. ™ ]. A. S. “Wuar makes the Vitaphone lisp like that?” “It’s because the talking movies are still in their infancy.” THE RADIO “History Is Bunk” BootH Tarkincton’s little boy, Penrod, has now grown up and is writing dra- matic sketches for the radio. You are going to be surprised when I tell you that these little bursts of theater are written out and rehearsed in advance by professional actors and actresses and not, as you thought, made up in front of the micro- phone by the studio electricians and tele- phone girls. For thrilling and red-blooded radio drama, give me a snappy military sketch that describes a Turning Point in His- tory; give me a Big Moment told in a half-hour. Give me history made not only painless, but positively hilarious. Great battles over the radio are lost and won in simple and uncomplicated fashion. The Opposition General is first discovered seated in a tent on a dark and bitter night. The General is always in a tent, never a house or a barn or a rowboat. And he begins the conversation something like this: “Well, it is a bitter night and my poor men are fighting on Ralf ra- tions.” Whereupon his yes-man pi with, “Well, surely it is'chrough ot £2 of yours, General. Why, even You, your. self, have scarcely eaten a good meal in four weeks.” Then the General begins to unload his alibis for losing the war onto his yes-man, blaming the weather, the Home Offce. and the Commissary Department, bu never admitting that he is a fat-head, A common soldier, wounded, ra and exhausted, busts in on the ae ence. “Well, my poor fellow, what news have you for me?” “Well, General, the worst has befallen us. Our army is trapped and although our men are fighting Gravely, we are out- numbered four to one. Unless General Glucose arrives with reinforcements ke. fore dawn, we shall be wiped out.” “General Glucose and the reinforce. ments were wiped out by a flank attack led by the treacherous Indians at Ratis “My God! And this means—” “Surrender!” “Ladies and gentlemen, this is station WXCF and you are listening to the Great Battles of History Hours. Please stand by.” y The scene shifts to the Victorious Gen: eral sitting in Ais tent and talking things over with his yes-man. Although it is a bitter night here, too, you get the im “Sho’ am glad t’ heah ‘bout dem triplets, Sam. De Lord sho’ did smile on you.” “Huh! Look to me lak’ he done laugh right in mah face.” comicbooks.com \\