Life — August 23, 1928 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SCOTCH STORIES ARE GOING OUT BUT— Tws particular Scot stepped into a telegraph office and picked up one of the blanks. He jooked at the clerk behind the counter. “How much," he asked, ‘‘is a telegram to “A wire to Chicago,"’ responded the clerk prompdys “will cost you five cents a word for tea. words. There will be no charge for the signature." The Scot looked musingly at the clerk, “There will be no charge for the signature?"* he repeated after a pause. “That's right,"* said the clerk. The Scot rubbed his forehead with the pencil. “Well,” he finally stated, “‘suppose you just sad my signature,"* The clerk grinned. “All right,"* he cried, “I'll do that for you. What's your name?"* Another pause on the part of the Scot. “Well,” he finally murmured, “I may not look it, but I'm an Indian, And my name is |.Won't-Be-Home-Till-Friday!"" —New York Daily News. SO SOON? wcart Brands returned from bis, honeymoon trip. fat Niagara. Falls, aod reports ; Ces poy Cirelenilis: (Ohio) "Herald. Mootrw clothing, Curaxty he does not sound like the ideal hus- | ing if not sensible, and, tand.—New Yorker. it is sensible.—St. Louis Tue Diver: Just my luc business 29 YOU CAN'T KEEP A GOOD MAN DOWN In most of the success stories which I've read there is a catch. In the beginning the hero is a clerk receiving $8 a week and sleeping under the counter. Just how he managed to save moncy puzzles me, but the big surprise comes at the end of the first year when the ambitious lad pays $6,000 for the business and takes it over. Quite typical was the tale told to me by an operator in oil who is now just stiff with money. He told me of his tials with dry wells and how he sank his last available penny. “But was I downhearted or discouraged?"* he inquired. I observed mildly that in a similar situation I should have been decidedly depressed. “I wasn't,"’ said the financial genius, ‘‘] gritted my teeth and borrowed fifty thousand from my brother."* —Heywood Broun, in New York Evening Telegram. . spoon Abbott's Bitters, in sweetened water, els. 1p ereas ald fo digedtion, Sample, Litters, yy Ae meet them during cts. tn stamps, C. W, Abboit & Oo, Balto, Md, jours. ~=Loxpone Carsiya: AT THE SMOKE SHOP “Witar kind of a pipe, ma’am?"* we are assured, is noth- “I want it for my husband. One of these nice it seems to us, even if| pipes that drive away every care."* Post-Dispatch, —Louisville Courier-Journal. Lirs_is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Tae registered in U. S- Patent Office. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights ia Greet Britain opply to Lire, Rolls, House, Breams Buildings, Petter London, England.’ The foreign ‘trade supplied from Live's Lote Office, Kins House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. No contributions will be ‘returned wnless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Live does mot hold itself responsible for the lors or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior to the date of issue to be affected. All communications ‘Showa. be addressed to LIFE, $98 Madison Avenue, New York. Yearly Subscription Rate, $5.00 (Canadian, $5.80; Foreign, $6.60). wit YOU bea LIFE representative? You need give only a few hours each week to the securing of new readers to earn a worth while sum of money. One subscription representative in West- chester County, New York, earned $215.00 in commissions and bonus be- tween June 6th and June 30th. Let us tell you how it is done, WRITE LIFE, Subscription Department 598 Madison Ave., New York, N. Y. ESTABLISHED 1818 Bibbs Biber S.GLOTHINGS tlemens Furnishing Goods, MADISON AVENUE COR. FORTY-FOURTH STREET, N. Y. Clothes for Boys at School Send for Price List BOSTON PALM BEACH NEWPORT LITTLE BUILOING PLAZA BUILDING AUORAIN BUILOING ‘Tecmeat con, Boruaven vy Rese 220 Be Avenve comicbooks.com