Life — July 19, 1928 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Little Rambles With Serious Thinkers Wuen you consider that those hundreds of people who talk aloud to themselves on the strect do so because of glandular disturbances, and that these same disturb- ances are allied with mental deficiency which in itself is caused by an unhealthy sate of the glands, you may see the dis- tance between what one believes a normal man and the criminal type. —Theodore Dreiser. I doubt if there is any place in the world where there are as many broken hearts as Hollywood.—Mary Pickford. Sudden wealth is often unfortunate, —George Matthew Adams. There is no finer quality known among men than gratitude. This quality has been entirely left out of the make-up of women.—d. B, See. The Volstead Act compares favorably with any of the ten commandments. —Wilbur Glenn Voliva. After four years of smoking Luckies in wildest Africa, I find my voice in perfect condition for my lecture tour in America. —Martin Johnson. What a man learns in college will not get him far—Glenn Frank. Many a girl who apparently takes a pull at her escort’s flask merely touches the bottle with her lips.—Harold Bell Wright. Some folks would give their shirt to be known as the original of Andy Gump. —M. 2. Tracy. QUERY Way is it a man can find an insurance receipt, a money order blank, a lodge membership card, a fishing permit, a book of postage stamps, a rain check, a news- paper clipping, several cigar coupons, one or two snapshots, half a dozen theater ticket stubs, a lottery ticket, some as- sorted business cards, stock market lit- erature, a blank check, an I. O. U., a postcard, and at least three unpaid bills, when he is vainly trying to produce his driver's license? Bill Sykes. Ste: My brother's out in the Sudan. He: Then let’s take the roadster! aN q\\ y CN : , \ Woe / Hoban vad. “Four to one the champ stops him inside o’ five rounds.” “Nothin’ doin'—but I'll give you three to two the referee don’t count beyond fourteen.” Any Color So It’s Colored “Pink anthracite coal, artificially colored, is now on the market.""—News Item. We knew, of course, that the new elec- tric refrigerators had been dolled up to resemble a Winthrop desk and were fin- ished light or dark, depending upon whether the customer is a blond or a brunet. We had heard that the heatin; plant had been disguised as a phonograp! finished in any hue to suit the individual taste. Typewriters may be bought in any color, to match eyes, sports wear, wall paper or freckles. Even the camera has moved away from the conventional black and vies with full-fashioned hosiery in the latest shades. However, we were sur- rised when we visited the Midwestia Coal and Ice Company and listened to the argument of the young salesman. “In buying your coal for next winter,” said he, “‘you must remember that we are one of the few firms in a position to give you the latest and most popular shades. These colors, I may say vith pardonable pride, were chosen for us by one of the outstanding couturiers of Paris. Now here is a very good coal, delivered in your basement for a trifle more than twenty dollars the ton. Notice its beauti- ful texture. This is what we call our moonlight shade. Naturally, if you pre- fer something in a beige, a sundown, a rl blush or a nuit d'amour, we should only too happy to serve you. Here is a delightful coal in an orchid petal tint and over there is a mighty pretty thing in what we call white jade. Some of our customers prefer the more staple colors; if nothing on our color chart suits you exactly we should be glad to have one of our artists submit designs. There would be an additional charge for what we call our custom-made coal—that is where the color is designed for that order alone, but of course you realize how satisfying it is to have something exclusive. “You say you are interested in coal that gives heat? Ah—step this way, sir, and permit me to show you our Flaming Youth s le, with an attractive design by John Held, Jr., on every lump.” Tom S. Elrod. HE-MAN “Tuere’s a man who knows how to handle women. He makes them work like Trojans for him, and half starves them, and then takes their money and turns them out, mere shadows of their former selves—and he makes them like it.”” “Good heavens! What sort of beast is he?” “He's a reduction expert.” comicbooks.com