Life — July 12, 1928 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Candidate Is Now Sitting Prett y The Dissatisfied Voters of Both Parties Have Suddenly Bevery Hivts, Catir. You can’t imagine the support that I have got for my party since the two clown Conventions. We are picking up the “Dissatisfied Element” from both parties, and by that I mean everybody that didn’t get their Picture taken at either Convention. We've got all the Wet-Dry Republicans and all the Dry-Wet Democrats on our side now, and we've got all the farmers from both parties with a scattering of votes from the Republicans who bet the wrong way on the meaning of the word “choose” and from the Democrats who thought that Al Smith would dictate the platform. Since leaving Houston I have had time to get back home and relax. No I take that back, I dident relax. I wanted to be different from the other two Candidates. I have read nothing in the last two weeks only about them “Relaxing,” So just for meanness, I wouldent relax. So you have got a Candidate that is not relaxed, and I won't relax until I'm elected. That's the time for Candidates to Re- lax—after election. Everything they do when they are in there looks like it avas done when relaxed. I mer Tex Rickard down at Houston, and he wanted to put on our Party's next Convention. Developed a Hatred of Bunk by WILL ROGERS I told him we had no Conventions, That the Conventions were the first form of bunk we had eliminated, That our party had to do all their sweating at home, That we dident want our perspiration scattered in halls all over the Country. I told him that if our Constituents couldent make a fool out of themselves at home, there was no reason for them to go away to places like Kansas City and Houston and practice. Our appeal and one of the planks in our Plattorm is to the person that has no ambition to stand in a packed Hotel Lobby and wipe somebody elses perspir- ing neck instead of your own. The Anti-Bunk Party is also against Badges. Wearing Badges has” ruined more people than Toupecs. Tex Rickard wanted to put on our Convention in conjunction with the Tunney-Heeney fight. He said he needed something to get the customers in there. I asked him why he dident get Demp- sey. He said he would as soon as he counted up what he lost on this. I told him an Anti-Bunk Convention wouldent hardly fit in with one of his rackets. He should put them on with the Republicans, or Democrats. You see the way both Parties are play- ing to both the Wets and Drys—and then they tell you there is no “Bunk” in Poli- ucs. Now there is just one thing that I want Kuainr zodlogical efrect of two political parties indu ine of bunk. ing inthe sa to repeat from one of my earlier speeches, and that is that there will be no effort for Sex Appeal in this campaign. Of course if it unconsciously creeps in, why we can’t help that. I just want to make that clear, because I understand there's lots of votes from women coming in, and when I was in Houston I was the only allegedly male guest at a breakfast of over a thousand women, We're glad to have so much support from the ladies for our Party, but if it turns out that it’s only Sex Appeal that’s getting the votes then they'll have to stop printing my picture in the paper. That's final. (Our Candidate has pointed out that the Democrats have left Al Smith stranded in the center of Death Valley. With a Wet Candidate on a Dry Plat- form, no Democrat will know next fall what side he is voting for. The Republicans have been more defi- nite. In commenting on Prohibition in their platform, they have reaffirmed the glorious principles of Washington and Lincoln—both of whom were so instru- mental in putting the Volstead Act across. Vote for Will Rogers—the only Can- didate who talks sense—the only Candi- date who says what he thinks—the only Candidate with the courage of independ- ence. Watch this space every week for bulle- tins from Our Candidate.) \ SS THE ™ ELEMULE comicbooks.com