Life — July 12, 1928 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Guess who?” “Lucky Strikes!” whole police force there, and describe how Gershwin derives from Bildad, the Assyrian composer. Aunt Minnie, and the twins, will prob'ly be murdered while we are absent. At noon, my friend the District Attorney and I will lunch at the Club, and settle the question of the difference be- tween Eggs Benedict and Eggs Benedic- tine. Directly after lunch I expect to hear that Sister Susie, the butler, little Ned, and old Uncle Peter have been slain. That evening I'll compile a bibliography of crime, while our friend the murderer is at work on Browne pére, the cook, and the rest of the girls. I may find a moment to enlighten old Markham on the work of the Viennese psychiatrists. Thursday I'm going down to the Grosvenor to see a chap who has a collection of Japanese sword-guards, and when I come back I expect to hear that, except for little Eloise, they're all jolly well mopped up. What, what? Then I'll bring my powers to bear, and maybe drag dear, dear Eloise off to the dungeon. If they're all dead but Eloise it will be clear she’s the murderess. Clever, what? N’est-ce pas? Nicht wahr? Hoi polloi? Lambda, mu, nu? You are a linguist, Mr. Holmes?” “Not precisely,” said Holmes, “It is very satisfactory to know your program, Mr. Vance, and I am sure we shall not conflict in any way. Also, to use your racy American phrase, it is quite clear to me now where the Browne family get off. I will meet you here, Thursday afternoon —in time for the arrest.” Holmes went to work with his usual energy, and on Thursday we were again in the library of Mr. Browne, In addition to the others, there were present a group of eight or nine ladies and gentlemen who were not at the other interview. Vance had not yet arrived; it was understood he had taken the traffic police up to see the palntings in the Hispanic Museum. Finally he came in, polishing his monocle, “Ah!” said he. “Simply top-hole, eh, what? Quite ready for the arrest? Where's little Eloise?” “My daughter,” said Mr. Browne, coming forward, “is here. But I do not think she will be arrested. You see, Mr. Vance, my family and I myself have an aversion to being murdered. We wouldn't for worlds interrupt your delightful causeries on art, but we observed how our neighbors, the Greenes, were slaughtered one by one, while you enlightened the American public on Venetian glass and German criminology. As a detective, if I may say so, you are a charming professor of aesthetics. Mr. Holmes, here, pursuing those methods which have made him celebrated, arrested my chauffeur two days ago. The chauffeur has confessed to killing my son, and planning to kill the rest of us. He is now in the Tombs, and I take pleasure in proffering Mr. Holmes this check.” “Oh, I say, y’ know!” exclaimed the American detective. “Mr. Vance,” said Holmes, “had you any relatives in Scotland Yard?” “Honest ta God, Mame—Greta Garbo ain't a thing ta me.” “I studied under Inspector Gregson,” said Vance. “Ah, I thought as much. I seemed to recognize the old Gregson touch. It has grown lighter, with the years. Dear old Gregson, dear old Gregson! How | loved him! How the murderers relied on him! Do let me present Dr. Watson,— you have so much in common!” Edmund Pearson, DENIED Kino Lapy (to red-cheeked little boy): Well, my little man, you've got roses in your cheek, haven't you? Littte Man: Naw, ma’am—that's a wad of gum. Harassep Dramatic Eprror: What's that you want to know? Which one is Moran and which one is Mack? comicbooks.com