Life, 1928-06-07 · page 45 of 54
Life — June 7, 1928 — page 45: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two main satirical pieces: **"The Gettysburg Speech" (center):** A mock newspaper account of Lincoln's 1863 Gettysburg Address, written as it might be reported by a modern (to 1920s readers) press correspondent. The satire targets contemporary journalism's sensationalism and focus on trivial details—the reporter emphasizes train schedules, lodging arrangements, and post-speech political scheming rather than the speech's historical significance. It's a commentary on how modern journalism strips gravitas from momentous events through mundane, mechanical reporting. **"Something Was Wrong With Collar-Pins" (left):** An advertisement disguised as satire, mocking safety-pin-style collar fasteners as flawed designs that damage clothing. The "Swank" brand offered an improved alternative. This is primarily product advertising. The bottom contains light humor about Scottish frugality and a beer advertisement. The page satirizes both modern journalism's triviality and consumer culture through mock-earnest advertising copy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
was wrong with collar-pins THEY were made of gold. They were called by another name. But actually they were nothing but glorified safety- pins!’ They were makeshifts that jabbed men’s necks—that riddled soft collars with holes. Rather than fumble with them, millions of men wore soft collars unevenly and un- tidily. Swank has all the smartness of a collar-pin. It looks like a pin, but isn’t. It can’t spear necks nor make holes in col- lars. It is adjusted quickly, accurately, evenly. Made in gold-filled and solid gold. In plain and engraved designs. Priced from 50c to $5, at your jeweler’s or men’s shop. The Baer & Wilde Co., Attle- boro, Mass. SWAN K looks like a pin, but isn’t Kum-e-part Cuff Buttor 10,000,000 men to dr weil as informally. They ett, quickest, most convenient cuff buttons there are! 944244444446464444444444444 SABRE LIFeE The Gettysburg Speech (As It Might Have Been Reported by a Present-Day Press Association Corre- spondent) Gertyssurc, Pa., Nov. 15.—(Union Press)—President Abraham Lincoln to- day delivered his first address in central Pennsylvania to a large number of citi- zens from Gettysburg and surrounding towns. Contrary to expectations, he avoided political reference and praised the brave deeds of the men who fell here during the recent battle in which our Northern heroes defeated a great Con- federate army. Mr. Lincoln and his entourage arrived in Gettysburg last night on their special train and were entertained in the home of Col. John C. Gettys. The party left the Gettys mansion in new carryalls at 9:30 o'clock and reached the battlefield at 11 o'clock, the hour when the meeting was scheduled to begin. The President's speech was brief and rather disappointing to the politicians and others who gathered around the wooden rostrum in anticipation that the President would denounce the tariff policy and other unsound tenets of the Democratic creed. President Lincoln contended that our theory of democratic government is being proved indestructible by the success of the Northern forces over the secessionists. “We are here today,” he said, “to con- secrate a battlefield on which men died. Now, gentlemen, I wish you would re- member that fourscore and seven years ago our fathers got together and made a great nation, the fundamentals in their belief being liberty and equality. “We are in the midst of a great war to test the soundness of their theory of government but it is evident that right is triumphing over wrong.” He added that unless the North won the war, this nation nor any other nation of the same nature could long endure. Speaking of the battlefield, President Lin- coln said that the blood shed there by the gallant soldiers was all the consecra- tion necessary. Immediately after the speechmaking a picnic lunch was served and county and district leaders went into conference to plan for the next political campaign. Late in the afternoon the President's party re- turned to Gettysburg to rest before the festivities ‘aight in the Gettys mansion. Hunter Lynde. JUST ANOTHER SCOTCH STORY You've heard about the Scotchman who got into the circus on a pass and then spent all his time in the vicinity of the sea elephant. “I had some wet peanuts," he explained. —New York Sun. “Ture is nothing like good old Eng: lish beer," says a British doctor. Not in. this country, anyway.—Goblin (Toronto). scarlet cloak... subtle-hued sarongs Painted in the varying hues of the rainbow moves the East... on Algiers’ shimmering desert rim appears a Caid, his scarlet cloak flaming against snowy buildings ... “the white radi- ance of eternity”, the Taj, rises majestically beside the tawny Jumna... the golden Shwe Dagon vies with the polychrou- atic silks of the smiling Burmese . .. in Malaysia, subtle-hued sarongs—amethyst, vermilion, emerald, primrose, sapphire, enhance superb bronze bodies... Everywhere a harmony of tints on the Cruise Supreme Around the World on the Cunard Super Cruising Steamer Franconia Sailing from New York January 15th, next Never was there a voyage like this...a most complete world panorama .. . including lands not visited by any other cruise...offthe beaten track ... full of new interest ++. super-ship with the cruis- ing viewpoint built into her... two of the foremost leaders in travel linking their 175 years of prestige, experience and efficiency for this cruise. Literature and full particulars on application to any office of the CUNARD LI THOS. COOK «SON or your local agent comicbooks.com