Life — May 31, 1928 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE MRS. PEP’S DIARY May ‘AT LAST we have found a coffee "2 which does proclaim itself by 318! an aroma in preparation, one of the pleasantest and most appetizing scents | know, and to which I did grate- fully awaken, Lord! It seems years, save at odd and accidental moments, since I have had a decent cup of coffee, nor do I wish to tempt the gods by waxing too enthusiastic over our present brand, for that it is a new one, and I am mindful of the adage about brooms. In morning dis- course with Sam I did learn that he eans to lay out two hundred and eighty- ollars for a sun-ray machine in the belief that his health will be benefited thereby, and forasmuch as I do know that he will never use it more than twice, I am sad that he is not going one or two hundred dollars farther and getting me the popcorn wagon I have always wanted, for, albeit it might incommode us some- what to dispose of it suitably in the house, it is my only hope of ever getting any good popcorn at home, and furthermore, as I have frequently pointed out, if we “My dear, I'm going to have a marvelous trip! The boat hasn't even sailed, and I've seen four interesting men already.” should ever suffer serious financial losses, a popcorn wagon could be instantly wheeled to the nearest street corner and run at a handsome profit. Luncheon at Marge Boothby’s, the poor zany so de- pressed that she could scarce touch her soft-shell crabs and grilled tomatoes, and she did speak seriously of going in for spiritual matters as an antidote, but T am sure that what she needs is liver treatment and, above all, considerable new raiment, since I do hold firmly with Dryden that there is a peace which cometh from being well dressed that re- ligion can never bestow. So, persuading Marge to the same effect, off to the shops, strongly resolved to purchase nought my- self, but when I did spot a tricorn which seemed as if it had been made by angels especially for me, I did lay out thirty-five dollars for it and wear it home, and Sam, moved by its combination with my cape coat, did exclaim, “The Spirit of °76!" and inquire where I had left my drum, and I do set down here that I consider remarks of that variety more suitable grounds for divorce than many which are in the statutes. Tee Lay late, pondering this and that, in especial the weak clasp on 1st my new purse, and how dread- ful it would be to have it fly open and spill at Madison Avenue and Forty-ninth Street. Then Sam come for me in my new car, the ownership of which has aroused within me an instinct which sug- gests that some of my ancestry may date from Billingsgate, for I do long to ad- dress truck and taxi drivers in their own language, and I have a fine line of it, too, having once taken a course in Eliza- bethan drama which at the time did not seem as if it would be of much use in my future life. In fact, my attitude was that of Jennie Allen's family towards her nephew's carly adventures with the classics: “What's the use of him studyin’ Latin? He won't never go there.” But now in what stead those splendid epithets would stand me if my Rushand would but let me employ them! The afternoon gone in reading magazines, and I was much smitten by an article wrote by Richmond Barrett for Harper’s called “Babes in the Bois,” which does show up our young expatriates who run along the Left Bank with copies of “Ulysses” under their arms, and I was also amused by the sly carelessness with which the author does decrease his sister's age. This day our cousin M. did bring us a fine jar of caviar from Buck’s Club, London, and I regret to set down that we did finish it off before midnight. Baird Leonard. “Hey! Catch!” A SLOW START Eaine: Are you making any progress in your new job? Vivienne: Heavens, no! The boss hasn't complimented me on anything but my work, comicbooks.com