Life, 1928-05-24 · page 9 of 38
Life — May 24, 1928 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of humor content: 1. **"Ballade of the First Golfer"** - A poem celebrating golf's origins, humorously suggesting the sport's invention was a momentous achievement ("what joy it must have been / First to have hit a golfing ball!") 2. **"Here Comes the Bride!"** - A dialogue satirizing wedding guests' superficial commentary about the bride's appearance and dress, particularly focusing on anxieties about whether her waist looks fashionably slim. 3. **"The Tear-Drop"** and **"Plink, Plank, Plunk"** - Brief comic sketches about social situations (a bride and party guests). The "bath-tub salesman" caption suggests product placement humor. The page reflects early 20th-century concerns with marriage propriety, fashion standards for women, and social etiquette—mocking both the obsessive focus on feminine appearance and the performative nature of social gatherings.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Ballade of the First Golfer He must have been a wight of wit, Lang syne, and one of master mien, Whose brain conceived how might be smit, The thorny whin and gorse between, Along the smooth and springy green A sphere we cannot now recall; O mon, what joy it must have been First to have hit a golfing ball! Soon many a one must have his kit, The tall, the short, the stout, the lean; The rules became as Holy Writ, And still they are to us, I ween, Though often they affect the spleen, And very sorry things befall; O mon, what joy it must have been First to have hit a golfing ball! The evolution of the pit From ancient annals we may glean; How bunkers rose, and gave a fit To bygone king, if not to queen; Golf, once a Scottish rite, "us seen Has now become the rite of all; O mon, what joy it must have been First to have hit a golfing ball! L’Envor Fnend, were days kindly, were they keen; If winds were calm, or blew the squall, How happy must his lot have been First to have hit a golfing ball! Clinton Scollard. Here Comes the Bride! “Ou, isn’t she too sweet!" “Perfectly adorable!” “She's so demure and dainty.” “No wonder everyone loves her.” “And she looks so charming in white.” “Yes. White is just her color. I was so afraid she might wear green.” “So was I, dear. Did you ever see any- one look so perfectly hysterical in green?” “She does look rather well today, though.” “It’s mostly the gown, dear. But don’t you think the waist is too high?” “Yes—but it would look all right on someone who knew how to wear it. But she's so awkward.” “Of course she’s probably a little nervous, today. But... .aren’t we catty, pena her like this when she’s so PP “We're dreadful! And let's stop it right now. She’s a darling.” “And they're so mnuch in love with each other!" “You know... .I've sometimes won- dered.” “Have you? I've heard a lot of people sy that, too. Is there anything in it?” Batu-Tus SaesMan: I beg to call your attention to the unusual features of this tub, which is especially designed for those who sing while bathing. It has a new beauty and depth, a richer resonance; in other words, my dear sir, it’s orthophonic. PLINK, PLANK, PLUNK Grorce: Can you play your banjo at the party this evening? Samay: You bet. I'm in the plink of condition. “They say he has a terrible temper.” “And she has no patience at all.” “Well, dear, let's hope... .”” “Oh, yes. But... .well, of course, you never know, do you?” Chez Johnson. comicbooks.com