Life — May 10, 1928 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bsg “What do you mean swearing before a lady?” “The size of me truck gives me precedence, madam.” Lawn Tennis officials informed the gray- beard loons that the youngsters were in- vited to try for the team but advised to remain in school. Was it the fault of the officials if the youngsters accepted the invitation and refused the advice? “How now? Whose mare’s dead?” cries the tennis fan. “What's all the shooting for? Didn’t Bobby Jones take time out of Harvard to go abroad and win the British open golf championship? A few tennis players are taking a few months out of school and the country is ruined, what? This is a free country, isn't it? The boys are good tennis play- ers and are entitled to a chance to make the Davis Cup team. It would be unfair to deprive them of it. If they want to play tennis, who shall say them nay?” Fair enough. It isn’t a hanging matter Sue: Jim, how much alimony are you paying your first wife? He: Fifty a week. Sue: I won't have it—why, the hussy is getting ten dollars more a week than I— and she doesn’t have to put up with you at all! but the Davis Cup Committee will have a hard time getting any concerted adult cheering for the proceal Proposition of taking boys out of school to play tennis It’s like the ancient tale of the Negro who was charged with stealing four chickens. A friendly lawyer took the case and his client was found “Not Guilty.” “Well, Sam,” said the lawyer, “I don't suppose you've got any money to pay me, “No, sah, I ain't,” said Sam, “but [ still got them four chickens.” In Allison, Doeg, Coen and Shields, the Davis Cup Committee “still has them four chickens.” John Kieran, Lay late, wishing that some- thing pleasant would happen, like an unexpected package by express or a sudden invitation to g around the world, when Lord! in did come Samuel, not having been near his offices, with the announcement that he had bought a new motor car which hy was presenting to me with two stipul tions: first, that I should not direct him unduly from the rear seat, and secondly that I should never let my servant Virgie attempt to drive it by instinct because of my so great faith in her ability to do any- thing. In high spirits all the morning therefore, and off to luncheon at a pub lick with Laura Hanscom, much regretful that I was not the hostess, for I had far liefer pay the bill myself and run riot oa the luxuries of the season than, because | am beholden to another, feel, with Frank Tinney, that I must run down the price list until I come to fifteen cents and then look over to see what it is. Laura, how ever, not being one of those women who are content with a cup of tea and a piece of toast when they lunch abroad at their own expense, did me very well, oo mussels mariniére, soufflé potatoes, etc, and did tell me how a maid to whom she had given a gown yesterday had demanded before accepting it if the sleeves were in style. Home betimes, reading in a book called “Poor Little Fool,” which the heroine certainly was for leaving her silver fox scarf behind when she fled her love nest, and I did come upon a sentence which cheered me mightily, “He spoke her name impotently, April 17th comicbooks.com