Life, 1928-04-26 · page 23 of 35
Life — April 26, 1928 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of 1920s Life magazine humor: **"Choose Your Pacemaker"** mocks Liberty magazine's practice of listing article reading times. The satire suggests different groups read at vastly different speeds—a U.S. Senator reads faster when the article is about himself (11 minutes versus 18), while a "Pugilist" supposedly needs nine days, implying boxers are unintelligent. **"Just Between Us Girls"** parodies women's gossip through exaggerated capitalization showing selective emphasis. A woman insists she never gossips while simultaneously spreading rumors about others, revealing hypocrisy and cattiness in female social circles. **The dinosaur cartoon** shows a man feeding peanuts to a museum dinosaur skeleton, captioned that his "circus instincts" overcome him—a gentle joke about reverting to primitive behavior in unexpected settings. All three pieces trade in period stereotypes: senators' vanity, boxers' stupidity, women's cattiness, and masculine impulse-driven behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Choose Your Pacemaker IBERTY’S policy of publishing the reading time of every ar- ticle in minutes and seconds is all right so far as it goes. But whose reading time is given? The editor's? That average American’s out in the Middle West? Whose? To simplify the matter, why not a sort of sliding scale? Thus: Reapine Tine: College Professor: Twelve min- utes, six seconds. Plumber: Eighteen twenty-two seconds. Business Man: (Tired) Sixteen minutes, thirty seconds; (Not tired) Fifteen minutes flat. Movie Actress: Thirty-three min- utes. U. S. Senator: (General article) Eighteen minutes; (Article about himself) Eleven minutes, three sec- onds. Pugilist: Nine days. minutes, Life ST BETWEEN US GIRLS “NAY dear, I NEVer said ANy such a THING! I mean you know PERfectly WELL I simply NEVer GOSsip and ANYways I've ALways stuck UP for SHIMna be- cause I SIMply aDORE her even if she ISn’t POPular because I mean even if HEAPS of people don’t get ON with her because she makes CATty reMARKS about them and all I don’t see why that's (oui. FWD | THESE \ESSSVERNG NOURISHING, \ | FINDING HIMSELF IN THE DINOSAUR DEPARTMENT With A BAG OF PEANUTS, HIS CIRCUS INSTINCTS GET THE BETTER OF WIM Assent-Minvep Mr. Atkins Visits THE Museum or Naturat History any reason J should feel any DIF’- rent toward her, my dear, because I mean it's so POSitively per- VERTed the iDEA that I'd say ANything aGAINST her, my dear, esPEcially to anybody like DOLly who EV’rybody KNOWS simply re- PEATS EV'rything she HEARS to ANybody, my dear, because I mean she’s the FOULest GOSsip in TOWN, my dear, and the WORLD'S worst SCANdal mon- grel and I mean she’s ALways try- ing to get ME in trouble because she SIMply aBOMinates me, my dear, because I mean she’s ALways had the riDIC'lous iDEA that I LURED Tom DRIBble away from her be- cause I mean he was enGAGED to her or something when he met ME but I NEVer said a WORD aGAINST her to Tom, my dear, be- cause I mean the EASiest way was to just let him find OUT for him- SELF what a HELL cat she was but GOSH, I SIMply can’t under- STAND how you EVer imAGined I'd say anything to DOLly against SHIMna, my dear, because I mean you KNOW I think GOSsip is SIMply SEPtic and I simply NEVer rePEAT any SCANdal or anything I ever HEAR, my dear, because I mean I think it just gets you into TROUBle with people, my dear—I mean I ACtually DO!” Lloyd Mayer. Easy 'TRONG MAN: My act is break- ing rocks on a woman's head. Vaupevitte Manager: Yeh? Where's the woman? Strona Man: You gotta furnish me a new one for each p'formance. K AN alarm clock is all right, if a person likes that sort of “ting!” comicbooks.com