Life, 1928-04-26 · page 20 of 35
Life — April 26, 1928 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines satirical dictionary definitions with advertising parodies and a cartoon. **"The Book of Dumbness"** mocks American life through fake definitions. Notable entries include: - **U.S.A.**: Satirizes alternating political parties as "an elephant" (Republicans) versus "a jackass" (Democrats) - **Incompatible/Friendless**: Cynical jabs at marriage - **Mercy**: Suggests wealthy criminals and attractive women receive preferential judicial treatment - **Modesty**: Declared "obsolete" **"Historic Conversations"** parodies famous brand name partnerships (Hart & Schaffner Marx, Procter & Gamble, Lehn & Fink) by having them speak as if they're different people complimenting each other's products—satirizing corporate advertising's false sincerity. **The cartoon** ("The Original Stage-Door Johnny") depicts a fashionably dressed man outside a theater carriage, likely mocking wealthy male admirers of actresses—a recognizable social type of the era. The overall tone is sharp social criticism wrapped in humor, typical of Life's early 20th-century satirical approach.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life The Book of Dumbness RGUMENT, n. A verbal con- flict of an unlimited number of rounds, always decided in favor of the most vociferous contestant. Augur. n. A prophet, or other instrument for boring. Booster, n. One who boosts, ele- vates or raises anything, especis prices, by the lil Boaster, n. Editor, n. rejection slips. Favor, n. Something bestowed for the purpose of placing the re- cipient under an obligation. Feminine, adj. Contrary, argu- mentative, incompatible. Friendless, adj. Happily married. Future, n. An estate which we take great pleasure in contemplat- ing until we begin to think of our past. Immigrant, n. lly eral use of hot air. See booster. A person who sends A. disillusioned emigrant. Incompatible, adj. Married. Ink, n. A fluid used by modern biographers for blackening the repu- tations of the great. Jazz Orchestra, n. A group of performers playing unmusical in- struments. Mercy, n. In judicial parlance, a commodity dealt out to rich malefac- tors and beautiful femalefactors. Modesty, n. Obsolete. Park Bench, n. A resting place for poets and other bums. Success, n. An intangible some- thing that lies always just ahead of us. U.S. A. A country having four- year periods of government, during some of which it has an elephant on its hands, and during the others is ruled by a jackass. 4. K. Splendor “PULL out your chest, young fellow! Draw back them shoulders! Now inhale deeply! That’s the stuff! Don't it feel great, though! Try it again! Breathe in deeper !—deeper! Hold it! Atta boy! I knew it was in you! Your chest won't be flat very long now! You'll see how quick your color'll come back, toi And don’t be surprised if there’s an in- crease in your appetite! Yes, I mean it! Don't you feel a whole lot better already? I knew it! You ought to have been wearing sus- penders long before this! Now if you don't like this pair I can show you another in a richer shade of mauve with green stripes that prom- ises to be the rage as soon as we start featuring them... Harry Epstein. ” Historic Conversations “RROTHER' TRADE,” Brother Mark, “Take S. B. Cough Drops for that bark.” “Brother Mark,” coughed Brother Trade, “Of course! made!” said They are the finest * # & “Hart and Schaffner,” said Mr. Marx, “They wear our clothing in clubs and parks.” “Schaffner and Marx,” said Mr. Hart, “Them garments surely do look smart.” “Hart and Marx,” said Mr. Schaff- ner, “We'd fit a coat on the Dragon Fafnir!” * * “Partner Procter,” said Partner Gamble, “To buy our scramble!” “Yes, Gamble,” chuckled Partner Procter; “It’s recommended by my doctor.” soap the public * *# *# Said Mr. Lehn to Mr. Fink, “Our tooth paste saves the teeth, I think.” Said Mr. Fink to Mr. Lehn, “It leaves them white without a stain.” “Sure, Lehn & Fink,” said Inc. A. G. NOTICE R. BENCHLEY’S Drama reviews were somewhere on the high seas, held up by fog, when this issue went to press... There will be no Drama reviews in next week’s issue, which is the Bur- lesque Number—but Mr. Benchley’s Department will reappear in the May 10th issue and will continue regularly thereafter, weather permitting. The Confidential Guide will be found on page 29. comicbooks.com