Life — April 26, 1928 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“I panicked them that time.” “It wasn’t you, dearie; maybe the place is on fire.” | Hs Pass Diary. April My husband, poor 1 wretch, awake most of 4th the night a-reading in “The Skull of Swift,” no gruesome mystery, neither, but a disquisition on the great Jonathan’s character by Shane Leslie, and I do pray God that Sam’s own wits be sharpened thereby, for three days are now gone in which he has forgotten to stop for my lorgnette chain which he did leave to be repaired, and I have been going about with my lenses hanging from a black ribbon which would be Whistler's damned thing on the mantelpiece to any lady's cos- tume. All the morning gone over a questionnaire on the subject of choosing a husband, the kind of thing on which I do waste a deal of valuable time, but it does give me pleasure to reach a final classifica- tion from my answers to such queries as “Can you be happy if ignored?” and “Do you like to have somebody with you when choosing a ha luncheon at Eloise Brown's, of s ribs, stewed celery salad and frozen apricots, very fine, and E. showed us the old table underneath the baize of which the cabinet maker had discovered French papers dated 1791 after he had sold it to her for a reasonable price, and then to the bridge table, but Lord! E. and I unfortunately let out that there was a soothsayer helping in the kitchen, whereupon Roberta Watt and Mabel Loomis must have their futures forecast straightway, so that we did not begin to play until well-nigh four o'clock. I should set down in simple justice that the only reason I did not have the woman read for me was that she had done so but three days since after the Whites’ dinner, Lisa Marriman in at tea time, full of the woes of her family, by which she has indeed been sorely tried of late, and she did say that the filling of her cup did but require her nephew's clope- ment with a Jewish chorus girl. Dinner alone with Sam and then to see “A Connecti- cut Yankee,” which contained the drollest line, in context, that I have heard this year, “Never lead away from a King.” Lay late, ponder- ing this and that, such as whether or not the rattling of news- papers will really frighten a burglar and how great April Sth Glossary of Golf Terms OLF WIDOW: A woman whose husband has succumbed to the deadly bite of the golf bug and gone in for Golf: A health-building game for which virile men get up at 4 a. w and render themselves unfit for a day at the office by too much appli- cation to the Putter: Variant of “putter,” to trifle or idle away the time after the manner of a confirmed golfer or a Caddy: A youth incapable of find- ing a golf ball until its owner has left the vicinity of the Golf Links: The links chain the slaves of the Golf Habit: The peculiar dress worn by golf addicts, knee trousers being used to indicate the tendency toward returning childishness; some- times affected by the Starter: An embryo politician accustoming himself to the reception of bribes, especially at the Nineteenth Hole: The hole where you never miss a putt, particularly if it’s coming from some other party's Locker: A repository for bever- ages much stronger than Tee: The thing you always knock out from under the ball if somebody stops to watch your stroke. Asia Kagowan. which The Wrong Sector § HAT caused you to fail when you tried to break the flag- pole-sitting record?” “I was a fool. I made the at- tempt in Chicago and the flagpole was shot from under me in less than an hour.” « (Continued on page 32) Sorre. anv Son comicbooks.com