Life, 1928-04-12 · page 32 of 42
Life — April 12, 1928 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece uses the "mindreader" format to mock both shoe salesmen and their customers. The salesman's internal monologue reveals his contempt for a woman customer, whom he judges as having oversized feet requiring deceptive selling tactics. The humor relies on period assumptions: the salesman consistently lies about shoe sizes (claiming sixes when they're nines), uses increasingly absurd exaggerations ("blasting powder"), and makes insulting references to her family ("big people with big feet"). The satire targets retail dishonesty and the gendered dynamics of service work—the salesman's patronizing attitude toward a woman customer who apparently lacks assertiveness to challenge his obvious falsehoods. The piece reflects 1920s consumer culture and working-class attitudes, mocking both retail deception and female passivity as shoppers.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Widening the Telephone Horizon An Advertisement of the American Telephone and Telegraph Company In THE memory of many now living, Alexander & Graham Bell made the apparently rash prediction that the day would come when we could talk to other countries, even across wide expanses of water. That was shortly after the historic conversation be- tween Boston and Cambridge, a distance of two miles. Bell’s vision was made a real- ity when in 1926 New York and London spoke together in two way conversation, and when in 1927 this service was opened to the public between any point in the U.S.A. and Great Britain. Since then, Mex- ico has been brought into speaking distance; impor- tant cities of continental Eu- rope have come within the voice horizon of the United States. Even more important, the Bell System in the United States now embraces 18,500,000 tele- phones—a growth for the past year of more than 750,000, We may now converse with each other from practically any pointin thiscountry toanyother, and may talk beyond our bor- ders and across the sea. That is measurable progress in widening America’s telephone horizon, Romance in a Newspaper Office AWWritten by an office boy and found in a reporter's typewriter.) Tue long western day faded away with a dark red hue of the beautiful sun of Colordoro Mts/ A lone rider appeared in the distant horizon of the town of Yellow Dog. He was dressed in a rugu- lar cow-puncher way. A big sombero cocked on the back of his bullet shape head and a light gray silk shirt with a yellow bandana, wooly chaps and spurs which were dulled/ His horse was a regular cow-mustang with a long droop- ing nmane and a regular horse-racing feet with a mouth that was wahting to bite you every time you looked at it/. Strolling down the main st/ of yellow dog he stopped by the only saloon in town the Daisy Bell. —New York World, Study in Contrast To music shows I love to go— What's more, I think them nifty; But all the girls are sweet sixteen, And all the jokes are fifty. —St. Louis Post-Dispatch. The Shoe Salesman Waits on a Lady Customer (As Observed by a Mindreader) “WELL, what will you have? That's a foolish question, isn’t it? It’s a cinch you didn’t come here to buy a necktie. You'd like to try on some shoes? How about buy- ing some shoes? What size do you wear? A six? That isn’t a small size, but it’s too small for you, old girl. You mean a twelve. I don't see why you didn’t go to the men’s de- partment. You've got a man’s foot. All right, all right, I'll get some sixes. Yes, I will. Ha, ha! I'll say I’m a liar. Here's a nice pair of battleships—in battleship gray. Yes, ma’am, those are sixes. Ha, ha! I'll say I'm a liar. They're nines, but I don’t think you're going to make it. Powder? Foot powder? You want some foot powder? Lady, you'll need blasting powder to get those feet in that shoe! That's right. Curl your toes up. Every little bit helps. You might be able to get them on, at that! I say might! With might and main! Ha, ha! They're a bit too tight. I'll get another siz with a trifle wider last. I'll say I'm a liar. I’m going to get you a twelve. That’s what I told you in the first place. Must be a lot of big people in your family. Big people with big feet. Was your father a policeman? Here you are. Here's your six. Ha, ha! Well, I’m half right, anyway. Yes, I think they will stretch after you've worn them awhile. How could they help it? All right. Yes, twelve dollars, You'll wear them out? I'll say you'll wear them out. And how! Well, here’s your cute little sixes— ha, ha—and, for God's sake, don't ever come in here AGAIN!” Frank Romano. Modern Letters of Excuse “DLEASE excuse Johnny from at- tending school this week. He is participating in the National Ama- teur Golf Tournament. “Sybil’s absence from classes Thursday afternoon was unavoidable since she had to ‘fulfill an engage ment to read some of her latest poems at the Episcopal Ladies’ Guild.” “Doris requests me to ask you to excuse ‘her this week; she has been chosen to try out for the Olympic swimming team.” “Junior was absent from school this morning through no fault of his own. You kept him so long after school yesterday that he was arrested for speeding home in his car.” i. Bill Sykes. comicbooks.com