Life, 1928-04-05 · page 57 of 59
Life — April 5, 1928 — page 57: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains mostly **advertisements and humorous filler content**, typical of Life's satirical format. The main visual features a **Simmons watch-chain advertisement** with a photograph of an ornate chain, targeting men concerned with fashion currency—suggesting chains were status symbols requiring periodic updating. The text includes several **light satirical pieces**: 1. **"Glossary of Shoe Terms"**: A humorous guide mocking shoe-shopping culture, particularly women's shopping habits and the manipulative techniques of shoe salesmen. 2. **"Well, What of It?"**: A joke about San Francisco residents tired of standard questions about the 1906 earthquake and fire, Prohibition's effects, and local landmarks—reflecting post-disaster stereotypes. 3. **"Daylight Savings"**: A brief joke about college students and sleep schedules. 4. **A cryptic political reference** to Senator Heflin and Democratic symbolism (unclear without additional context). The page also advertises **Thomas Cook & Son travel services** for European trips, emphasizing luxury leisure travel for affluent readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
he ll, or ht he Life When was your watch-chain new? WATCH-CHAINS change as much as watches in design. If the chain you are wearing now was bought several years ago, it probably is out-of-date and old-fashioned looking. . . . A new chain costs very little. Why not get one today? Simmons Chains offer a range of choice that appeals to men of all ages, in every walk of life. They are priced from $4 to $15. Made of seamless gold-filled wire, manufactured under our own patents in our own factory, they may be obtained in natural, green or white gold. . . . The chain shown here is a Waldemar, No. 29770. Price, $9.75. Ask your jeweler to show you his assort- ment. R. F. Simmons Company, Attleboro, Mass. Attach to the end of your chain a Simmons Key Holder—convenient for jouse and auto key.. Illustrated above. SIMMONS TRADE MARK CHAINS Glossary of Shoe Terms E OLDE BOOTE SHOPPE: Suggested sign for a second- hand shoe store or place where you go to get Smartly Booted: What any woman's dogs have to be these days, supposed to be performed by a Shoe Clerk: A fellow who just works in a shoe store, as distin- guished from a Shoe Salesman: A man who knows how to handle dogs and can talk your wife into taking a Long Vamp: Lengthy flirtation between her and the salesman, when she came in after a Mule: What she says her husband is when he won't buy her that pair of Swell Kid: Her husband’s mental comment on the young lady behind the cash register while the salesman is talking about Welts: The things your wife gets on her feet whenever she buys Patent Leather: Something the salesman’s hair looks like but not so easy on the feet as Suede: What an Irishman calls a person of Swedish extraction. Asia Kagowan. Well, What of It? ‘ SAY, Bill just told me you're from Frisco!” “No, I'm from San Francisco. Yes, it was the fire, not the earth- quake. No, I don’t know who oils the hinges of the Golden Gate. Yes, I've heard that one about the China- man who couldn't understand why the ferryboat captains kept blowing their whistles when the fog didn’t seem to pay any attention. No, the old town isn’t quite as lively as it was before Prohibition. Yes, the Barbary Coast used to be a great place. No, we haven't got rid of the cable cars yet. Yes, Coffee Dan's is still running. No, they haven't divided our half of the state into Northern California to keep us from getting mixed up with Southern Cafeteria. And now, if that will hold you for a while, excuse me while I talk to that chap over there. He’s a good friend of mine from Los Angeles.” Cc. J. Daylight Savings IRST COLLEGIAN: Let's cut classes this afternoon and take in a movie. Seconp Specimen: Can't do it, old man. I need the sleep. HILE Senator Heflin does not represent the Democratic Par- ty, one may say that he does repre- sent that party’s symbol. ‘THE DEVINOVE-HALLENBICK COMPANY, (NC, PRINTERS NEW YORK on your lip 1 Cuurope Clanging gongs . . . shrieking sirens +. majestically the great liner glides away at last...a carefree trip has started for you...Cook’s have arranged all the infinite details... nothing for you to do except enjoy yourself... rest... and dream of forth- coming pleasures. Cook's are the logical organization for anyone to consult, when contemplating a trip to Europe +. or elsewhere. They formulate plans for you... develop individual itiner- laties according to your own ideas, con- venience and budget... or help you select one of their unlimited variations of delightful group travel .. . You may choose the kingly luxury of the foremost transatlantic liners with corresponding accommodations ashore . . . or the less expensive but luxuriously comfortable cabin . . . or the informal Tourist Cabin with its very attractive accommodations . . «ashore there is the choice of travel by train, private automobile, airplane, or their combination... and everywhere the unlimited advantages of the World's Foremost Travel Organization, with its 100 offices in Europe alone. A Request will bring You our Catalogues THOS. COOK & SON Philadelphia ‘Washington San Francisco New York Baltimore St. Louis Boston Chicago Los Angeles Portland, Ore. Toronto Montreal Vancouver comicbooks.com