Life — March 29, 1928 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ples t the Pies rd to psets “Don’t Let Me Bother” BE fire-wagons clanging or or- chestras banging, Or murders and holdups exciting And riots about me, and demons to knout me, I still can go on with my writing. Let neighbors be cussing and room- ers be fussing, The world all about me be fight- ing, My wife shooting craps and the house in collapse, and I still can go on with my writing. But blast me that ass of the non- chalant class of Curst nitwits who's always invit- ing Himself in to loaf—oh! that oaf !—so I still can go on with my writing. Asia Kagowan. garrote me ARA: machin Chara: Do you have a dictating in your office? Yes, damn him! rN “M* dear, Imm all-of-a~-DOOdah! mean I'm ACtually so THRILLED I could BU BEETS, no less, because I’ eating LIVer MADly for W my dear, because this AW fully sweet DOCtor adVISED LIVer because mean he said I was ALL run DOWN and on the VER of colLAPSE, no less, so I mean he sort of LOOKED at me inTENTly and said PERfectly SEriously, my dear, ‘You'll have to eat LIVer at this “I saw your husband to-day, dear. He wished to be remembered to you.” point’—can you BEAR it, my dear! But I mean I ACtually feel LOADS better alREADy, only the other MORNing after t RAUcous PARty at the GRE y I ACtually LOOKED like } ing HUman and was HONestly FEELing like the WRATH of GOD and this TERribly funny GIRL who was VISiting me said what you NEED at this point is a BROmo- SE er and do you KNOW, my dear, I'd NEVer had one in my LIFE? Well, ANYways, we sort of DASHED frantically for the near- est DRUG store and ORdered a couple of BROmo-SELTzers and, my dear, it was POSitively per- VERTed because I mean inSTEAD of sort of POURing this stuff from ONE glass into the OTHer and BACK again, sort of, the way you're S'POSED to, my dear, I sort of DRANK EACH glass of this odd conCOCtion SEParately so that the FIZzing process took PLACE in my TUMmy instead of outSIDE—can you BEAR it, my dear? I give you my WORD I thought I'd exPLODE with a LOUD rePORT because I mean I ACtually felt like the IN- sides of VeSUvius or something—you know the type! And, my dear, this GIRL nearly had hysTERics be- cause mj PRESsion at this point would have SLAIN a GOAT, no less, only I think it was SIMply FOUL of her not to exPLAIN about how you were s'’posed to TAKE a BROmo-SELTzer, my dear—I mean I ACtually DO!” Lloyd Mayer. Escape OU have been a_ good boy. Papa's going to buy you a nice violin.” “Goodie! Now I won't have to get my hair cut!" comicbooks.com