Life — March 15, 1928 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Tl be there on the dot!”’ New Model PocketGen You can be on time if you havea sturdy, reliable watch. The new model Pocket Ben is that sort. And he’s mighty good-looking, too —a favorite among busy men. Sold everywhere for $1.50. With night-and- day dial, $2.25. Buile by the makers of Big Ben and other Westclox WESTERN CLOCK COMPANY La Salle, Illinois NewAuto Clock Att active, convenient, re- iable, Fits any car.Quickly ttach 4 on dash or above wind sbield. Price $2.50, ‘The King’s English “After 70 years of effort, the Oxford English Dictionary has been completed.” —London dispatch. Comptete from A to Izzard, From Abacus to Zyxt, From cuticle to gizzard, The Dictionary’s fixed; Embalmed for future ages In multifarious tomes And quite unnumbered pages For English-loving homes. By Oxford's walls protected, For threescore years and ten, Our words have been inspected By sober, studious men. No scholarly bereavement, No philologic crime Will mar their great achievement, Because they took their time. Would that we might be aided By some mysterious spell To do our work as they did, To weigh our words as well. It might, I grant you, fetter The writer's daily stint— But wouldn't that be better ‘Than rushing into print? —S. K., in Spokane Spokesman-Review. The Greatest of These Aw old Negro Mammy, to keep the pack of wolves away from her door, eked out a living by doing odd jobs. One morning she announced that she would have to quit. “But I thought you needed the work? said her employer. “Well, I did, ma’am; but I'se got a new job—collectin’ fer de missionary so- ," the old colored woman explained. “But IT have work for you to do,” ob- jected the white woman, “and you need all the money you can get.” “Yassum; but I reckons I’se goner col- leck fer de missionary society,” answered the old woman. “How much do they pay you for col- lecting?” “I don’ git paid,” was the unexpected and enlightening reply. “T only gits all I can colleck!"—Toronto Goblin. Magic Is Magic—Up to a Dollar Gnaxoratirer was amusing hi grandson by small tricks of magic. The small boy watched with saucer-wide eyes while nickels and dimes were skilfully extracted from his ears and hair and the back of his neck. Handfuls of sma change found their way to his grand- father’s pocket .unprotestingly; but when a dollar bill—crisp and green and crack- ling—was pulled from a fruitful ear, the small boy offered up a wail of remon- strance. “Give that back to me! —New young It’s mine!” York Sun. The Optimist Coxvict (surveying day's rations in cell): Two pieces of raisin bread with three raisins in them, every Thursday. In three years and five months I'll have enough to start a batch of home brew. —A merica’s Humor, The whole world knows Asp’ an effective antidote for pain Just as important to know that only one genuine Bayer Aspiri name Bayer is on every tablet, and. oa the box. If it (says Bayer, it's : and if it doesn't, it is not! He: are dispelled by Bayer Aspirin colds, and the pain that goes with them; even neuralgia, neuritis, and rheum- tism promptly relieved. Get any drugstore—with proven directions. | Physicians prescribe Bayer Aspirin; it does not affect the heart Aspirin is the trade mark of Bayer Manufacture of Monoaceticacidester of Salicylicacid MEDITERRANEAN NORWAY CRUISE. JUNE 30 52 days, $600 to $1300 Spain, Italy, Riviera, Sweden, Scotland, Rerlia, (Paris, London). World Cruse, January 16th, 1929, 110 days, $1000 up. Mediterranean, 66 days, January 30, 1929, $600 up. | Frank C. Clark, Times Bldg., N.Y. EUROPE $72 day 200 All Expense Tours $195 up. Booklet Free. Mediterranean and Scandinavian Craises, $390 ALLEN TOURS. loe., 154 B Street, Bostos Cream of Scoted Homespuns, direct HARRIS TWEED #:='*o%*.: lengths by post. $2.00 per ¥d Samples free oo statins NEWALL, 277 Stornoway, Scotlaré. Cortez Caars -MADE AT KEY WEST— comicbooks.com