Life, 1928-03-08 · page 19 of 43
Life — March 8, 1928 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct items: 1. **"Universal Litany"** by Arthur Guiterman: A humorous self-deprecating poem where the speaker catalogs their foolishness and physical awkwardness. 2. **"A Recent Arrival in California Runs Amuck"**: A cartoon showing a formally-dressed man (top hat and coat) struggling in unusual rainy weather, remarking this is "very unusual weather for California." The joke satirizes California's reputation for consistently pleasant weather—an actual rainstorm is treated as shocking. 3. **"Implication Is Much Simpler in Poker than in Bridge"** by Bill Sykes: A brief article explaining poker tells and bluffing detection, contrasting with bridge's complexity. 4. **"The Chauffeur Designs an Automobile Body"**: A cartoon showing a car with enormous wheel designs, humorously suggesting a working-class person's impractical automotive vision.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Universal Litany ] WAS a fool and I am a fool and a fool I'll always be; The number of species of fool I’ve been are many too many to count ; Somewhere there may be another fool who in folly is equal to me, But that there isn’t I'll wager a huge amount. J am an ass, an unspeakable ass with the longest possible ears; If I have a brain, which I greatly doubt, it’s probably made of mush; When I see myself in a looking-glass I am properly moved to tears, And every time that I think of my- self, I blush. I am a dolt, a dunce, a dub and a blithering,. pink-eyed lamb, A dunderpate and a blunderbuss deep-dyed and triple-ply; Should any one ask how ever I grew to be as old as I am, I don’t know how; what's more, I can’t see why. I'm going to soak my leaden head in a bucket of melted lard, I'm going to stub my favorite toe against an immovable rock, I'm going to turn a thumb-tack up and sit on it good and hard, And kick myself three times around the block! Arthur Guiterman, I: Does that boy of yours call a spade a spade? Hi: Gosh! He don’t even know what a spade is. ll ig YOURE THE SEVENTH MAN WHO HAS SAID THAT TODAY THE UNLUCKY SEVENTH THAT THIS [IS VERY UNUSUAL ON. ONE OF THOSE COLD, MICERABLE, DRIZZLY CALIFORNIA WINTER DAYS A Recent Arrivat tN Cauipornia Runs Astuck Implication Is Much Simpler in Poker than in Bridge OE sound rap on the table indi- cates that the player passes. Cards laid face-down on the table tell the dealer that the player does not choose to draw. This method of indicating a pat hand is less osten- tatious than by word or signal. Walking around his chair to change his luck is a sure sign that the player is a loser at that stage of the game. Calling the cards by their nicknames means the player is ahead. A telephone call implies some one is going home. If not, the person called will be joshed the remainder of the evening. 12 o'clock, the time set for games to end, means 4 A. M. The fellow who says he broke even is the big winner. There is but one infallible way to tell if a player is bluffing. Call him. Bill Sykes. RODUCER: We need some new chorus girls. Assistant: All right; I'll send out Tue Cxaurreur Desicns an Automosie Booy a form letter. ’ comicbooks.com