Life — January 19, 1928 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“And the best part of my treatment accorded me at the HOTEL P. , Your trip to Havana will be doubly pleasant if you also arrange for your accommodation with us. HOTEL PLAZA Facing Central Park Fausto Simon - Manager HAVANA SOCIAL OF HAVANA Acknowledged to be the most exclusive illustrated monthly magazine in the Spanish langu (It's a Massaguer publication OF HAVANA (Another Massaguer publication) An illustrated weekly enjo tion throughout Latin America Both ma printed in he most wide-spread circula are engraved in, photo-lithography and Both favored by discriminating advertisers. Representative in the United States CARLOS PUJOL, Hotel McAlpin, New York The Traffic Jam ADILLACS, Chevrolets, Buicks and Fords, Carrying servants and carrying lords; Hudsons and Marmons and Lincolns and Stutzes, Bearing Van Rensselaers, Cohens and Glutzes; Haughty Rolls-Royces and diffident Dodges, Headed for opera and night clubs and lodges; Essexes, Overlands,,Mercers and Hupps, With men in their sixties and men in thelr cups; Auburns and Cunninghams, Oaklands and Moons, With females in sables and sophs in raccoons; Duesenbergs, Jordans, Minervas and Nashes, Fresh from the paint shop and battered from crashes; Pierces and Clevelands and Chryslers and Locos, With dealers in clothing and caskets and cocoas; Tsotta-Fraschinis and Renaults and Paiges, With cargoes of daddies and pets of the stages; Pontiacs, Oldsmobiles, Flints, Willys-Knights, With couples a-necking and brawling in fights; Mercedes’, Franklins and Packards and Reos, Latte barges of passionate Cleos; Hispano: as and Chandlers and Star And Lord knows how many additional cars! J. Clement Boyd. A Few Reasons Why I Am Occasionally Annoyed ECAUSE, having allowed three-quarters of an hour to taxi to the station—twelve blocks distant,—I am ultimately forced to get out and run, in order to catch ain by the skin of my teeth. rcause I can never find a mail-box when I want to letter. cause I am always being told by women that I remind them so much of somebody else. Because I am n constantly being telephoned by certain “friends” at M., Who insist that I get dressed immediately ‘ join them at the “best party ever © I sometimes believe them. Because there are such things as paper napkins. Because my favorite speakeasy is always getting pad- locked. Because every time I cat raw onions, I meet, a few | moments later, the most ravishing creature imaginable. Because I don’t know how to talk to the dice. Because I am forever trying to learn. Because, when I believe I am looking my doggiest, I | am taken for the headwaiter. Because there are such things as “week-ends.” Because, whenever I plan a quict evening by the fire- side, I arrive home with the milkman, the following A. M., curiously rickety in the knees. Because I am continually being told of wonderful little cafés, where they hand out an ambrosial table d’héte, including wine, for a single simoleon. Because, in a weak moment, I visit these “wonderful little cafés.” Because there are such things as practical jokers. Because I am unable to find a laundry that doesn’t make a hash out of my linen. e my most exciting-looking mail usually turns a touch. Because there are such things as “dialect stories.” Because, every now and then, I endeavor to mix beer, cointreau and rye at a single sitting. Because my favorite bootlegger has retired and bought a magnificent sea-going steam yacht. Because, after getting the report, “busy,” for twenty minutes on the telephone, I am eventually told that “the party doesn’t answer.” Charles G. Shaw. comicbooks.com