Life, 1928-01-19 · page 27 of 38
Life — January 19, 1928 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces from early 20th-century American humor: **"Cafeteria"** by Robert Lord mocks the social awkwardness of a newly-popular self-service dining format. The overlapping dialogue captures pretension (references to "hoi polloi"), complaints about pricing and quality, and parental exasperation—satirizing how different classes and personalities collide in this democratic eating space. **"Well, Am I?"** by Tip Bliss depicts a running joke where the narrator is repeatedly pestered with the phrase "am I a stepchild or something?"—apparently a period catchphrase suggesting unfair treatment. The humor comes from the narrator's exasperation at this worn-out gag being deployed endlessly by acquaintances, friends, and even a romantic interest. **"Fame"** is a single-panel joke: a taxi driver has exhausted every bar in the city trying to satisfy a drunk passenger, who finally asks for water—an anticlimactic and humorous ending to the bar crawl. The accompanying illustrations are simple pen sketches typical of the era's magazine humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Local Color Cafeteria “ ARE them beans?” “No, lady, them’s onions.” “Bertram, hold your tray straight or you'll drop it.” “Where are the soups? I never really feel that I’ve had my dinner unless I start with soup.” “Quit shovin’, willya? This ain't no subwa “How do you do, Mrs. Zipser. Yes, it’s the first time P’ve ever eaten in a cafeteria, too. Yes, isn’t it a lark to eat with the hoi polloi now and then?” “Don’t get the rice pudding if you don’t want it, Bertram. Eight cents is eight cents.” “No, there ain’t any small steaks to-night, miss. But they was some Tuesday night.” “I’m sorry, sir. But we're not allowed to serve cream and lemon with the same pot of te “What interesting types one sees in a place like this, doesn't one?” “That liver looks tasty.” “My check says forty-seven cents and I had the same dinner here last month for thirty-nine cents.” “It seems impossible to get a good cup of coffee in these places.” “Bertram! Stop feeling the pies!” Robert Lord. Fame “WWESSIR, that’s the first man in town to be hit by the new Ford.” “T’ve got something to tell you.” “All right, T'll get the glasses.” 25 Well, Am I? HENEVER at parties I chance to be pouring And pass up some one from my quart silver flask, That merry young wit will get all of them roaring With mirth, when he'll playfully nudge me and ask: “Say, am I a stepchild or something?” And then when at poker I take my turn dealing And carelessly fail to give some one a card, He brings down the house with expression appeal- ing When he says, as he turns on me_ plaintive regard: ay, am I a stepchild or something?” The Queen of my heart is considered most witty Because, when I passed her by once on the street, «She cried after me in a voice of self-pity (The one time I know her voice didn’t sound sweet) : “Say, am I a stepchild or something?” Why pick on me with this rank imbecility ? What did I do to be bored with this plea? Is mine a case of sheer mental debility? Why do they foist all these gags onto me? Say, am I a stepchild or something? Tip Bliss. Taxt-Driver: Well, sir, I've taken you to every bar in the city. What can you want now? “A drink of water.” comicbooks.com