Life — September 29, 1927 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Auto-Education THE car took Was thought unequal to a book Toward getting a degree, But on its hood he painted quotes From poets and his Spanish notes And dates from history. which Fred to college The formule upon one side Were chem A physics guide Was scratched upon the top. The very license of his bus Was figured out in calculus, Perplexing to a cop. His mileage read in y And some of Cicero's Were posted on the Botany specimens were pinned On seats or placed between the wind- Shields, guarded from a crash. And so although this college boy Drove often forth on rides of joy And burned the midnight “gas,” Professors who had seen his car Were certain that the boy'd go far And could not fail to pass. Fairfar Downey. Six Easy Lessons in How to Become Self-Conscious I Al™ politely at mouth with fork- ful of salad. Become aware that hostess is addressing you. Turn head, trying to relinquish lettuce gracefully. I Take pretty girl for walk in country. Notice large gray fruit hanging from branch. Wonder what humming sound means. Poke fruit with stick. Ill Awake in friend's home, realizing that bathrobe was not packed. Creep down hall in’ state of pajamas. Grab bathroom door and dive inside. curiously Back hastily out and wonder which is the bathroom anyway. IV Hear car behind tooting arro gantly. Decide on a lesson in cour- tesy. Hold middle of road for some distance. Hear wife remark that it is an official car containing three State policemen. + ark to acquaintance that, after R all, Tolerance is a great thing. Dis cover that he is a Fundamentalist VI Bend over. Feel something split. HF. blished Weekly by Life Pub. Co. Office, under act of March 3, 1879. Printed Madison Ave. N.Y SAL Ear. Sad Clow Matter tthe Pont @la Briar TOBACCO “THE BEST PIPE SMOKE EVER MADE!” “Old Briar Has Re-Converted Me to Pipe Smoking” All of the old eajoyment, solace and solid comfort of pipe smoking... that’s what Old Briss Tobacco 1s being. ing back to pipe smokers! Letters come from men everywhere, every day, telling of the pleasure and satisfaction that each pipeful of Old Briar gives them, Light up your pipe filled with Old Briar Tobacco, Draw in the ripe fragrance and aroma of its superior leaf, Taste ats full natural flavor. Smoke it awhile. No- tice how cool and slow burning it 1s — and how smooth. Now you know why so many thousands of pipe smokers say Old Briar is “the best pipe smoke ever made.” It has taken years of scientific knowl- edge in the art of mellowing and blend- ing and generations of tobacco culture to produce Old Briar Tobacco. Step by step Old Briar has been developed — step by step perfected. It all shows up in the smoke, *The above tribute to Old Briar is all the more convincing because it was entirely unsolicited. fe: Of all the pleasures man costs about the least. IF YOUR DEALER DOES NOT United States Toba SPECIAL OFFER: | City and State | Deate’s Name Address Vir you preter—eend ae HAVE OLD BRIAR ‘Tear out this coupon and mail to 0 Co, Ri Leon upon. Ty UNITED STATES TOBACCO CO., RICHMOND, VIRCINIA, U. S. A. N.Y, Subseription, $5.00. Vol. 90, No. 2343. Office Dept, Canada! 1927. Ent'd as 2nd Clans Matter. June §, 1883. at New York Post, Possessions. Life Pub. Co, ia U. 8, Eagland and British comicbooks.com