Life — May 26, 1927 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HELL? Critical Flapper: Not so u0T, OLD DEAR, NOT so HOT. Tragedy of High Life RS. Van Vanderveer Schuyler Van Vanderveer Dwelt in a triplex apartment on the thirty-fourth story of the Plutocrat Towers. Forty thousand dollars a year it cost her for the ppen fireplaces and solid silver hardware on the doors, and other expensive trimmings, Not to mention the fourteen-carat gold bathroom fix- tures and real cutglass showers. Mrs. Van Vanderveer Schuyler Van Vanderveer, Breakfasting in her genuine antique bed that used to belong to Marie Antoinette, Du Barry or one of that crew, Daintily consuming her morning caviar and champagne which is terrible for breakfast but awfully ex- pensive, Mrs. Van and so forth suddenly sees an item in her morning newspaper that strikes her like what might not inaccurately be called “a bolt from the blue.” “The Crassus Towers,” she reads, “the new apartment hotel, will be sixty-seven stories, With no apartment cheaper than sev- enty-four thousand dollars a year. All the trimmings will be cighteen-carat gold except the bathroom fixtures, Which will be solid platinum, and the shower baths will be something equally dear.” Mrs. Van Vanderveer Schuyler Van Vanderveer . With a ery of horror springs from her costly and aristocratic bed, her six-hundred-thousand-dollar pearl necklace and, fastening it around her neck, hangs herself from the chandelier, Seizes KRES, Now You Ask One! “WHERE Is BAYREUTH?” “e's STILL WITH THE YAN- Isn’T Where she is found several hours later by her retinue of servants, cold and dead. This is the simple tale of Mrs. Van Vanderveer Schuyler Van Vanderv Ponder upon the tragic lesson that it tells: Better humble contentment in a modest six-thousand- dollar apartment on West End Avenue Than grief and sorrow in the homes where opulence dwells. Newman Levy. Let Us Re-Joyce AXP then there's this way of writing and a fine sap anybody is to read it you just put down whatever comes into your head and th it is like fun you can't be blamed for what comes inte ad but you certainly ought to use your judgment about what comes out still nature abhors a vacuum my mother abhorred vacuum cleaners she said they made a horrible noise brr brr brr shut t amn thing up how can I ever become « ut writer well if you think this is the way to become a great writer you had better start right in peddling bonds as if that made any difference what's the difference be- tween a no I don’t guess I had better put that in put that in block that kick that kick here we go round the mul- berry bush now you me now you're getting maudlin come into the garden maudlin heh heh heh I suppo: ‘ou think that’s funny oh for God's shut up! Henry William Hanemann. A Real Surprise HUSBaAnD (seeing wife sewing on Yes, dear, I’m making all my nr?” own clothes now. comicbooks.com