Life — May 12, 1927 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“WULLO, 1 DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A MARRIED MAN.” —Le Rire (Paris). To a Co-ed by an Impressionable Professor (Apologies to Austin Dobson) I intended a D But it turned to an A. Still (in justice to me), I intended a D. But you cocked up a knee, ‘And you smiled such a way... I intended a D, But it turned to an A! —Ohio State Sun Dial. Host: What do you think of these cigars? I got them from an acroplane pilot. Guest: What does he use them for— sky-writing?—London Opinion. Gnrece is going to remove the stain from the name of Socrates. What stain? —Dallas News, “AND WHAT GAVE YOU THE IDEA OF BECOMING A TEACHER?” “MADAM...1 THOUGHT...THAT THE BLACKBOARD WOULD SET OFF MY BLONDE HAIR $0 BEAUTIFULLY.” Journal Amusant (Paris). “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” The Optimist Advertises “Lost and Found “LOST—PAIR ROSE COLORED GLASSES. Fi please call Adaleen Brown, Own. Phone 397." R290 —Brownsville (Texas) Herald. We can think of a few other popular sentiments that might well be buried in the classified section. So far, however, the following advertisements have not ap- peared without piano accompaniment: FOUND—TWO RAINBOWS AND One Bluebird, answering to name “Happiness,” also silver lining to dark cloud, Owner can have same by identi- fying and paying finder for expenses chasing same. "Box 37, Pillar. WANTED—TO GO BACK TO THE little old shack in Alabama, Califor- nia, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, M in, Nevada, Ore- gon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, or what have you? Call “Lonesome,” Phone 388-J-ring 3. INSOMNIA SUFFERERS — QUICK Relief in 15 minutes. Let me tuck you to sleep in my old Tucky home. Dr. Sleeptucker, hours 8-11 p.m, 1 Main Street. PUZZLE FANS—SEN R OUR “Mother” puzzle, amuses the kiddies. Set of 6 blocks, initialed M, O. 1, E, R. Put them together and they spell what means the world to all of us. Mother Puzzle Block Co. Battle Creek, Mich. —“Riq,” in Chicago Evening Post. Our Oppressed Prexies Tue story gocs that several college presidents were discussing what they would do after they retired. What would they be fit for, was the question. “Well,” said one of them, “I don’t know that I'd he fit for anything, but IT know what I'd like to do. I'd like to be super- intendent of an orphan asylum so I'd never get any letters from parents.” “I've a much better ambition,” ex- claimed another. “I want to be warden of a penitentiary. The alumni never come back to visit."—Harper’s. Correction “And if the protection of Americans abroad becomes an issue demandin decision, the American people will stand as a nut in_sup- port of their Government.”—EI Peso (Tex.) Herald. ‘Tirat’s bad grammar. It ought to be, ‘in support of his Government.” —New Yorker. Ay offer has been made to turn a Lon- don church into a restaurant. We trust no absent-minded diner will try to tip the waiter by dropping a button in the plate.—Punch, “Yes,” said the visitor from Boston, “I just came down for a few days to read a book.”—New York Evening Post. CHINESE BLACK IAS GON Dealer (smoothly): weit, TuERE's A WAR OVER TILERE, YOU KNOW, —L’E wore (Paris). Another Questionnaire Sue: What mountain is that over there? He (shortly): 1 don't know. Sur: Charles! You don't love me any more! On our honeymoon you used to know everything.—Dorfbarbier (Berlin). Houtywoop “Cortece” Extna: It's sure funny, but these students don’t seem to know how to act like college guys. —California. Pelican. Tose who live in ‘em nowadays have signs out in front reading, “Ye House by Ye Side of Ye Roade.” —Arkansas Gazette. Mier Frou Earnest Inquirer: SAILORS HAVE A WIFE IN EVERY PoRT? Sailor Jack Ashore: wor's ver GAME, ’ECTOR? TOUTIN’ FoR A MATR’MONIAL AGENCY? —Bulletin (Sydney). 18 IT TRUE YOU comicbooks.com