Life, 1927-04-28 · page 14 of 35
Life — April 28, 1927 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humor pieces: **"Consolation"** (poem by Arthur T. Horman): Addresses lost love—a woman now with another man. The speaker claims consolation in having "had [her] first." **"At Home With a Professional Testimonial Writer"**: Satirizes writers who produce paid endorsements. A husband revises letters praising products (yeast, arch supports) he doesn't genuinely use, receiving payment while pretending authenticity. **"The Traffic Cop Goes Crazy"**: A rant by a frustrated traffic officer criticizing chaotic urban conditions—baby carriages blocking streets, illegal car operations—demanding enforcement of traffic laws. The cartoons mock consumerism, dishonest advertising, and urban disorder—reflecting early 20th-century anxieties about modern life's commercialization and chaos.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life First Clubman: g1m’s WIFE INSISTS THAT HE GIVE HER A REGULAR ALLOW Second Clubman: vARN THESE W! ! THEY WANT ALIMONY AND WON’T EVEN LEAVE HOME TO GET IT. The Traffic Cop Goes Crazy “OAY Stupid what's the big idea of turnin’ three blocks straight ahead and up Glontz Avenue to the city morgue no lady I don’t know where you can buy buttered dog biscuits now don’t gimme no argument or I'll slip you a ticket yes lady them signals work by electricity I ain’t allowed to carry baby buggies across no streets so you never secn me put my hand up well why didn’t you are you blind or just dumb no mister I don’t know the population of this city say who ever told you you could drive a car yes lady the three o'clock train for Celery Falls leaves the Union Station at three o'clock u big bum the Judge’ll give you twenty years for that pull over to the curb there how should I know where you can get safety- razor blades sharp- ened and don’t gim- me no backtalk yes lady Coolidge is President of the United States think I'm blowin’ this whis- tle just for fun you poor sap would you care to buy some tick- ets for the Police- men’s Ball?” Robert Lord. } Next on the The Old Hitching Post: cow DERN 1T! 1’D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT I’M STANDIN’ HERE FER; THE LAST HORSE THAT WAS HITCHED TO ME WAS IN 1912, Program HE PHILOS- OPHER: After the movie, then what? Tue Fraprer: The comic. Consolation HOUGH other hands hold now the ones I held; Though other eyes pause now where mine did rest; Though other mouths spell words that once I spelled; Though other lips press lips that once I pressed; Though other men take that which I forsook; Though other men know now her best—and worst; Though other men find favor in her look— They can get nothing new....I had her first. Arthur T. Horman. At Home With a Professional Testimonial Writer IFE: You look tired, dear. He: It’s been a hard day. I had to revise my letter for the effervescent salt people. They got all ex- cited about a dangling participle. I argued that it was realistic, but you can’t argue with those people. Well, then I had to sit for some photos for the gargle pcople. Wire: Did the eyewash people send that check? He: At last. I got a nice one from those liver people, though, and an order for three more letters from the arch support people. Oh, but I've got to tell you some- thing. You know, I connected with those yeast people. Wire (erultantly): You did! He: Yeh, but I’m turning ’em down. Wire: What's the matter? He: They actually want me to eat their yeast. you imagine such impudence? Can Tupper Greenwald. THE FASHION CREATORS DECIDE WHETHER MAUVE OR MAGENTA WILL BE THE SMART COLOR FOR SPRING. comicbooks.com