Life — April 14, 1927 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What Price Excellence ORE than a dozen languages are needed for the labels of APOLLINARIS. More care, limitless care, is used in the bottling of APOLLINARIS water. More money is_ spent for corking APOLLINARIS, so that its legions of users throughout the world always find itaseffervescent as it naturally is in its spring. A Apollinaris Telephone your dealer for a case sole fo Lmporters: Foose Cortes, Cortes (ears -MADE.AT KEY | A recipe for sheer contentment Ox “Old Town Canoe.” One shining inland lake. One well-seasoned partner. Two bags of duffle. Stow the duffle amidships as your partner takes his place in the bow. Now ease the “Old Town” onto the lake and hop aboard. Stroke the water gently with your paddle— deep easy strokes. Soon, perhaps, you'll find yourself whistling softly to the rhythm of your swing, “Old Town Canoes” glide forward at the slightest dip of the blade. Strong and sturdy too. Priced $58 up. From dealer or factory. Free illustrated catalog shows sailing canoes, square stern canoes for outboard motors, dinghies, etc. Write today. Oro Town Canor Co., 1734 Middle Street, Old Town, Maine. "Old Town Canoes” INSIST UPON KEMP'S 5 BALSAM| FOR THAT COUGH! NEW AND HOW DIFFERENT! BEAUTIFUL AND HOW SMARTI LOOK FOR THE NAME-THE SAFEGUARD OF QUALITY Country Club Serenade Come, little golfers, the snowbanks are melting, The icebergs are thawing from bunker and tee, The soft vernal raindrops are merrily pelting; And soon you'll be happy as happy can be. Sing ho and sing hey, There are foursomes to play And scores to be counting, so up and away! Come, little golfers, the greens are emerging And putting on garments of emerald grass, All traces of winter the sunshine is purg- ing, So get out the brassie and shine up the brass! Sing hey and sing ho, For the breezes that blow, And the cute little handicaps, all in a row! Rise, little golfers, betimes in the norn- ing, And sniff the sweet zephyrs, and caper and sing, Give never a thought to the weather man’s warning— The calendar says so, it has to be spring! Sing hey and sing hi, There is blue in the sky, And _ blushingly blossoms the first alibi! —S. K., in Spokane Spokesman-Reciew, To Order Mr. Bapautr of the Palace at St. Moritz tells a story of one of his wait- ers’ linguistic difficulty and professional pride. There was a very slight earth- quake felt in St. Moritz on one occasion and on the same day a genial visitor, on taking his seat at table, remarked to the waiter: “Well, you have earthquakes here, do you?” “Earthquakes” beat Giuseppe, but he would not admit anything that he thought implied a lack in the hotel. “Oh, yes, sare,” he replied, “we do have them, but they are not quite ripe yet. They have beer ordered from Zurich, and should be here next week.” —Tatler (London). Canny! A urrtte Scotch boy, having become an uncle at the age of four, was taken to see the new baby. What's she saying, Sandy?” asked his sister, as the infant made the usual gurgling noises. Sandy cast a wary and inquiring eye round the room and then replied: “She's sayin’, ‘Gie Sandy an apple.’” —Pathfinder. Corten from a dentist's name-board ia Constantinople: “Dr. —, Dentist. 2th Floor.” Obviously the right story for him. —Punch. comicbooks.com