Life — March 17, 1927 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Timely Lesson IN LOVE OR WAR—FIGHT FAIR, MY SON! JUST TAKE THE CASE OF DENNIS DUNN? HE LOVED A NIFTY LITTLE JANE ENTITLED ROSIE MAY MCSHANE. BUT ROSIE MAY, HE CLEARLY SAW, PREFERRED ONE MICHAEL JAMES MCGRAW} A HANDSOME GOD OF GO-AND-STOP— IN OTHER WORDS, A TRAFFIC COP. NOW, DENNIS DUNN RESOLVED AND SWORE Hk’D GET THAT GEL! AND—WHAT 18 Morr— HE VOWED, BY ALL THE WELL-KNOWN NAMBs, Hk’D THROW THE HOOKS IN MICHAEL JAMES, NO SOONER SAID THAN DONE! FOR DEN OF THOSE STRONG, SILENT MEN Great Folks at Home The Campbell-Zupps ANTIOUES SS R. CAMPBELL-ZUPP: Well, darling, which one do we have for dinner to- night? Mrs, Camppets - Zurp: Number 43, angel—Vegeta- ble! Specially brewed by ex- pert chefs gathered from the four corners of the carth and containing the fruits and juices of twenty-four life- giving forms of plant life to which we just add Mr. C.-Z. (a trifle weari- ly): I know—hot water and serve, Mrs. C.-Z. (archly): If al- lowed to simmer a few min- utes the flavor will be improved. (With vast enthusi- asm.) Ruddy-cheeked toma- toes, bringing with them the very elixir of life itself! Corn “po you po MUCH RIDING?” “OH, OFF AND ON.” from the vast rolling plains of our glorious Middle West, so well termed the backbone of the Nation! Verdant peas and beans from—from- — Mr. C.-Z. (prompting): The rock-bound hills... Mrs. C.-Z.: Oh, of course —the rock-bound hills of staunch old New England, whence—whence- Mr. C.-Z.: Whence sprang that sturdy stock upon which the very life of America and the hope of the world are based. Mrs. C.-Z.: You took the very words out of my mouth, lamb! And other vegetables too numerous to mention. Perfected in our magniti- cently equipped culinary laboratories after years of patient study and experimentation, but placed at your elbow, steaming and appetizing, almost in- Just a A DROPPE! HE FILL stantancously. jiffy, precious. (Exit Mrs. Campbell- Zupp. From the kitchen come sounds of rending tin, running water and the scratching of matches. Mr. Campbell - Zupp buries his face in his arms, moans, then raises his hands toward heav- en.) Mr. C.-Z. (desperate- ly): Oh, God! Oh, God, for a sandwich! Tip Bliss. drugs Os 3 an SS A, WHEN DENNIS LEFT THAT DRUGGIST’S STORE AND A PHIAL HE BORE CONTAINING DROPS WHICH (GUS HAD SAID) MADE RED LOOK GREEN AND GREEN LOOK RED! TO MICHAEL’S ROOM THE VILLAIN CREPT AND, WHILE HIS HATED RIVAL SLEPT, WITH FLUID, DROP BY DROP, THE OPTICS OF THE SLEEPIN Lip TIMBERS EEE eo} drrriu Sev “Nn STocKks[—> [ptt -<A Some Suggestions Conce the Alibi Contest Ls order to preserve the strictly a teur standing of participants in t great indoor sport, certain restricti should be adopted at once. For instsse no Alibis should be considered from #4 following classes: 1, Criminal lawyers; because th make their living by them. 2. Married men; because they pret their lives (such as they are) by 3. All women; because Alibis are ural to them. It is as absurd to git woman an Alibi prize as it would be Mr. Wrigley to give his $25,000 to& for swimming Catalina Channel. H. 4 THE tabloid reporter requires a0¢ ceptionally sensitive nose for news comicbooks.com