Life — February 17, 1927 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Li They Actually Exist HE country aunt comes to New York and tells city nephew a story: “—and little Johnny threw a snowball at—yes, a snowball—certainly, you pick up the snow in your hands and—yes, in your hands—no, oh, no, it doesn’t make 1 dirty—snow is white, not black—I know, but because of the soot and dirt—yes, where I live ys white after it gets on the ground. Vell, anyhow, Johnny threw a snowball at Mrs. Anderson's cow—yes, cow—c-o-w—it's where milk comes from animal—oh, fairly big, not quite as big as a horse—no, people don’t ever ride on them, they just milk them—y milk them—oh, that vilk out of them—they—er-r-r—well, out of them—no, it doesn’t hurt the cow—but you do have to keep them contented. “Well, and the snowball scared the cow and she kicked Mrs. Anderson and Johnny's mother said he couldn't go sledding until he had apolo—yes, that’s right, sledding. You have a thing with runners and you —runners are long strips of steel, something like a great long skate, only they slide over the snow. “Anyhow, in the end Johnny decided not to go sled- ding after all but to go and fish through the ice instea— certainly there are wild fish. They live in the ponds and you catch them on a hook with worms—yes, w-o-r-m-s— a fishing worm is a— “Oh, come on, I'll play bobbed-haired bandit with you after all.” Edward L. Gordy. no, no, a cow is a Travelers’ Tales O you fear the dust of the road, The grime of the train? Go forth and travel— Get dirty again! Go stew in the tropical South, Go shiver in Maine. The cash in your pockets will dwindle; You'll come back as soon as you can; Your postals will say you enjoy it— But you'll lie like a man, AR. B. Not Handicapped ID it take you long to learn the Black Bottom?” “Oh, no! I already didn’t know how to dance.” SPLENDID _ winter use for milady’s one- piece bathing suit would be as a sweater for the pekinese. TEN CENTS IN THE SLOT POLISHES YOUR TEETH AND GIVES YOU A SPRAY OF LISTERINE AND A STICK OF GUM. HE Declaration of Independence was signed one hundred and fifty years ago and some day the citi- zenry may get around to having it enforced. JL “WASHINGTON, Jan, 18 (A. P!).—A lithograph of ‘Ou Ironsides,’ which cost three cents, was sold to President Cool. idge today by Secretary Wilbur, assisted by Admiral Eberle, for 25 cents.“—Philadelphia Public Ledger. It_ take least two good men to break down sales resistance like that. JL Coming in April, National Forest Week will practically open the outdoor motoring on. It should therefore be followed at once by i Camp-Site and Deposit- Your-Rubbish-Here W There are three sides to the Prohibition question—the wet side, the dry side, and the inside. Secretary Witsur in a recent speech stated that the moral character of the United States sailor is just as high as that of the average college student of the same age. Thus another boyhood ideal is shattered. One reads with interest Lord Astor’s observation that the American people are not likely to resume the use of intoxicants. general His lordship might enlighten us further by telling, for in- stance, when they stopped. iL Now that the Navy De partment has gone in for publicity by sponsoring the Movie, “Old Ironsides,” why doesn’t the Treasury Department follow _ suit with a stirring sea picture based on the Dollar Line? LL Scotland reports a success- ful automo! with only three wheels. Scotland would. Ata Performance of “Old Ironsides” OVIE FAN: There she comes! That's her! The Constitution! Critic: But what are all those other boats? Movie Fan: Oh, those must be the nineteen amendments. HE trouble these days is not so much in being found out as it is in be ing found in. happ} “D “no “on, UPL will t Sin terrib his as when gossi] F autho one t “SI new j war, tional the t aim t | Itis local ) Fran he li itis s drunl York comicbooks.com