Life, 1927-01-13 · page 25 of 39
Life — January 13, 1927 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines period automotive humor with social comedy from what appears to be the 1920s era. **"Assorted Curses"** is a humorous poem by Baron Ireland cursing dangerous or inconsiderate drivers—those who park poorly, fail to signal turns, run out of gas, and most irritatingly, refuse to pull over on hills to let faster drivers pass. The satire mocks both mechanical car failures and driver etiquette violations of the early automobile age. **The cartoon** below shows a father scolding a daughter for refusing to dance with young Perkins. She replies she wouldn't dance with him even if he were wealthy. The father's solution—introduce himself to Perkins so *he* can dance with the "poor man"—satirizes class anxiety and parental desperation to help an undesirable suitor. **The Ford Chassis story** humorously documents an absurdly durable car that's been abused extensively (run over cliffs, hacked with axes) yet survives, eventually ending up traded to "Indians for beads"—reflecting period attitudes and colonial stereotypes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life Assorted Curses ! OW a curse on the pests of the highway that drive better men acerb! A murrain on her who constantly parks at least three fect from the curb! And another on him who turns a corner without ex- tending his hand! And may she who stalls in a ferry line get a cop's stern reprimand! May they run out of gas on a desert ten miles from a * filling pump! May they drop the plug in the bucket when draining the * crankease sump! May the coldest morning of winter find their batteries out of juice! May filings scratch their cylinder walls and their cotter pins all work loose! Aye, a curse on these pests of the highway—the Curse of the Blown Out Tirc, The Curse of the Shorted Spark Plug and the Curse of | the Hubdeep Mire! | But a blacker curse and a bitterer curse on the unre- generate pill Who won't pull in, though I honk and honk, to let me pass on a hill! And the blackest and bitterest Curse of all (though I ] don’t know what it may be, | Yet it’s not too bitter and not too black for him and such as he) Descend on the head of the blatant, purse-proud, loud and glittering ass Who honks and honks for me to pull out on a hill to lct him pass! Baron Ireland. I “you like music, tune in on Chicago some night and hear the singing bullets. Little Girl (entertaining her small friend): xxv Tis 18 OUR TIGER, UNCLE RAN OVER IT IN AFRICA. Ford Chassis No. B1378X SPECIAL Ford representative — satisfied with my car; it has given ills every two or three years me excellent service for over two at each Ford owner's home and in- months; and I only hope that other a Ne Father: wity pon’r You DANCE WITIt YOUNG PERKINS? Daughter: 1 WOULDN'T DANCE WITIL MIM IP ITE WERE WORTH A MILLION. “ne 18.” “Ou, WELL—INTRODUCE ME. 1 SUP- Post somebody’s GOT TO DANCE WITIL THE POOR MAN vestigates the welfare of the car, thus checking up on every automobile that leaves the factory. Ford Chassis No, B1878X, in the possession of Mr. Alfred M. Dahant, of Schenectady, N. Y., has cost i owner but $630 in repair bills since Ig “T cannot seem to wear it out,” writes Mr. Dahant. “I have run it over cliffs; I have hacked at it with an axe; I have tried to give it away; but good old No. B1378X, as I call it, is still knocking away as well as it ever did. This chassis has outworn three engines: one of them I threw away; the other two were lost in the Chicago fire. I am fully Ford owners can say as much.” Chassis No. B1378X was sold to King George V in April, 1925. Sub- sequently it became the property of the Birmingham Old Junk Comp: who traded it to the Indians for and a string of beads. Mr. Dahant bought it at a rummage sale in June of that year. Don't sell your Ford! N.R.J. Epoch-Making IDTOWN: What's all the ex- citement down the street? Urrrrwe Ye Olde Brassiére Shoppe is having its first Anni- versary Sale. comicbooks.com