Life — November 18, 1926 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Indies Fascinating adventuresin tropical seaswhere ~ the glamour and romance of the buccaneer still live. Glorious voyages, not toseek buried gold but to find joy and health. Care-free days on board the ideal cruising steamer RELIANCE and shore excursions in lands of wonderful beauty and charm.. S. S. RELIANCE Sails from New York on five “Pleasure Pirate Pilgrimages” DEC. 18 JAN. 8S 1s Days 1s Days 15 Day Cruises—$200 and up JAN. 26 27 Days FEB. 26 MAR, 30 27 Days 15 Days 27 Day Crulses—$300 and up The RELIANCE is unsurpassed in size and appointments for tropical cruising. Luxur- ious lounges, winter garden ball room, spa- cious decks, sunlit swimming pool, gymna- sium and many other features. The wide cruise experience of the management assures unexcelled service and comfort. Descriptive literature sent on request HAMBURG-AMERICAN LINE UNITED AMERICAN LINES, INC., General Agents 35-39 Broadway, N.Y. 230 South 15th St., Philadelphia 177 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago 131 State St., Boston $74 Market Street, San Francisco or Local Steamship and Tourist Agents | A Sure Way To | End Dandruff | There is ono sure way that never fails to | remove dandruff completely, and that is | to dissolve it, Then you destroy it en- tirely. To do this, just apply alittle Liquid | Arvon at night before retiring: use enough to moisten the scalp and rub it in gently with the finger tips. By morning, most, if not all, of your dandruff will be gone, and two or three more applications will completely dissolve and entirely destroy every single sign and trace of it, no matter how much dandruff you may have. You will find, too, that all itching of the ecalp will stop instantly and your hair wil be lustrous, lossy, silky and soft, and look and feel a hun- ‘foucan get Liqui yon at an: Te, anda four cunce bottle is all you will eed: This eimple remedy has never known tofai, 9 Say ‘‘Bayer Aspirin’”’ INSIST! Unless you see the “Bayer Cross” on tablets you are not getting the genuine Bayer Aspirin proved safe by millions and prescribed by phy- sicians for 25 years. Accept only a Safe Bayer package whichcontains proven directions Handy “Bayer” boxes of 12 tablets Also bottles of 24 and 100—Druggists Aspirin {s the trade mark of Bayer Mano- facture of Monoaceticacidester of Salicylicacid INSIST UPON ‘KEMP'S BALSAM, FOR THAT COUCH!’ Memoirs Unwritten AST week I started to write my memoirs. I have always been a voracious reader of memoirs, and consider myself reasonably familiar with the technique. I wrote: “My father and mother were, | suppose, in advance of their time, for they held to the theory that growing children should be sur- rounded by beautiful objects. When as a boy of five I awakened in the morning, the first thing on which my eyes fell was a picture of—" ~ At this point doubt, in the shape of a cloud no larger than a man's hand, appeared on the horizon, Doubt, I mean, as to whether I was qualified to be a writer of memoirs, I found that I could not describe the picture upon which my five-year- old eyes first rested at dawn. It worried me. No other memoir writer would have hesitated for a moment. Doggedly I resumed: s the first thing I saw was a handsome picture in a faded gilt frame.” To be honest, I must admit I was not at all certain that the frame was gilt, or that the gilt was faded, but I felt that the bit of description, though inadequate, saved my face. Once recovered from the momen- tary setback, I got along splendidly and swung into full stride as I ap- proached the account of my first mecting with a celebrity. The celebrity was Rutherford B Hayes, who was at that time in great demand as a speaker at dedications of soldiers’ monuments. On_ one such occasion he was my father's guest, and I remembered vividly how his ready wit kept the family in gusts of laughter. “ ‘What,’ inquired my father, your opinion, General, is the ¢ veakness of the argument against service reforms?’ “Without an instant’s hesitation, General Hayes .replied ” Then came the sickening realiza- tion that I could not remember what General Hayes replied. I recollect that it was most amusing, and that for years it formed the basis of my father’s most successful anecdote at lodge conventions. But that was all. It was at this stage that I felt the hopelessness of my handicap. To be a writer of memoirs, I concluded, one must have been trained from childhood to remember everything that is likely to be needed for a book. But my son is destined to atone for my failure. At six he has taken, with prodigious success, all the mem- ory courses. He remembers every- thing, and I predict that his memoirs will be a masterpiece of accurate recollection. S. K. comme: | comicbooks.com