Life — November 18, 1926 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

8 = 1 WANT TO GO TO BED A LITTLE EARLIER TO-N1GHT.” “why?” “1 WAS THINKING OF SAYING MY EVENING PRAYERS A COUPLE OF WI $8 AltEAD.” Karikaturen (Oslo). Mr. Pepys’ Diary Last night I lingered in ye town And drank some potent “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” Guests Expected Ow the boulevard of Ramleh, Egypt, two native ragpickers met at five in the morning. Both stopped at the same mo- ment in front of a heap of trash on the top of which reposed a large cabbage stalk, and as one started to snatch it the other checked him with a gesture. “If you please,” said he with dignity, possessing himself of the stalk. “My wife is entertaining friends at dinner to-day.” —Maalésh (Alezandria). Some Do Not “How did you come out on your hunt- ing trip?” “Oh, I broke about even, I got back alive."—St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Evotvtion in four words: heads win; tails lose.—Toronto Goblin. bumpers down. My wife, poor wretch, with face of gloom, Was waiting as I “WIIAT IP WE SHOULD UPSET, WANDA?” “rr WON'T) MATTER—TILIS LIPSTICK 18, WATERPROOF,” —Meggendorfer Blitter (Munich). Highly Colored “Bnepenex, we must do something to remedy de status quo,” said a Negro preacher to his congregation. “Brudder Jones, what am = de status asked a member. my brudder,” replied’ the _ preacher, “am de Latin for de sought my room. She heaped reproaches on my head, And so to bed. —Louisville Courier-Journal, Corroboration A ctass in a London school was set to write about “Mother.” When the teacher came to mark the exercises he noticed that two boys, brothers, had written almost the same words, “John.” he com- plained to the boy he knew to be the culprit, “you've written just what your. brother wrote.” “Yes, sir,” came the reply, “it's the same mother.”"—London Daily News. What This Country Needs Contametion to criminology attributed to Dr. Herman N. Bundesen, health com- missioner of Chicago, by the Murray Ice- Cream Company in an advertisement: “If there is one way of preventing crime it is to feed people and children ice-cream,” American Mercury. ‘FIAST HEARD THE SORRY TIDINGS, 0 OSCAR? TO THE SiiNGLE.” —Punch (London), by permission. The Imitators Sreaxinc of one of his works to a a dramatic author said, with the consciousness of modest worth: “It has had many imitators.” “y replied the critic, “especially beforehand.”—Weekly Telegraph. AmenicanisM—“He isn't a real thief. He took it from the Government.” —Columbia (S. C.) State. Conversation SIGURD HATH sUccUMBED mess we'se in.” —Outlook, Taken at His Word Berotar: Ye needn't worry, mum—I'm po- liteness itself to a lady. Lavy: Then be so good as to telephone for the police. —Boston Transcript. Or Sooner “To think,” exclaimed the enthusiastic young husband, “that by the time we get all this furniture paid for we shall have genuine an- tiques.”"—Detroit News. Opening Day low did the college get such a bad name?” “More men reported for football than were enrolled in school.” —Notre Dame Juggler. “Waren is the best drink God ever yes, but Man has done pretty well for himself.—Yale Record. —Simplicissimus (Munich). comicbooks.com