Life — November 11, 1926 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“po You YOUNG PropLe KNow THAT 40,000 DEADLY GERMS ARK TRANSMITTED BY ONE Iss “oM—NOW THAT We've MILLION TIMES W RISKED DEATIC A 0 LON AFRAID.” —Le Rire (Paris), Whoopee! Ges Paraick Jouxsox, a sparkling- eyed colored boy, was quite hilarious one morning at school. Miss Worley, on questioning the youngster, received this reply: “Why, we-all had a big time at our house last nigh “What were you doing? Worley. “We wuz a-knockin’ off de plasterin’. We's goin’ to move.” Indianapolis News. inquired Miss Love, Honor and Obey Finst Dramatic Cartic (at fashionable wedding): A moving and impressive cere- mony. Secoxp Dramatic Critic: Hokum, old man, pure hokum.—New Yorker. Tur trouble with being your brother's keeper is that he thinks you are trying to be his boss.—Dallas News. Back from the Seashore “NOW AT LAST I CAN TAKE A BATH!” —Le Journal (Paris). “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” Time: Next Morning y tell of an actor whose wife is a nagging sort. After a night out he came home and left the radio turned At 6:30 he was awakened by « radio voice saying: “Good morning, everybody.” He landed in the middle of the floor and called back: “I didn't bring any of ‘em; they just came along.” —0O. O. M., in St. Louis Globe-Democrat, No; Let's Hear It Have you heard the story of the Scotchman who went ci trying to shoot off a cannon a little at a time? —New York Evening World. “Weak men swear off; quit,” says an exchange. smoking, both begin again. —Boston Transcript. strong men y, and if it's Toff: AND WHO, MIGHT TASK, WAS THE WENCIE 1 SAW YOU WITH LAST EVENING? Off: THAT Wasy’r No weNcit If Shakespeare Had Written for the Tabloids “Crabbed age and youth cannot live logethe Bard Bares Secret of Tot-Ogre Love-Nest (Story on Page 2) —F. P. A., in New York, World. His Amateur Standing His first manuscript had just been returned to the young author for the sixth time. “And to think,” he ob- served sadly, “that promoters sit up nights pleading with athletes to become professionals.”—Detroit, News. Ornicr Boy: ‘There’s a gentleman out- side with a long black beard. Mawacen (preoccupied): Tell him to call back with it to-morrow.—Anscers. Sycn is progress in Chicago—the gun- man is now a machine-gunman. —Louisville Courier-Journal. Mexican Version “{ WANT A PAIR OF SIIOES FoR MY Wire.” “WHAT sizr, si fe “you prcipr THAT. sit ER 1s THIRTY AND sTINA.” Excelsior (Mexico City). AME’S PA The Gypsy Strain He stood at the corner of the stre his sandwich board at the correct bal- ance, “Hullo, Bill,” said his hoarse pal; “car- ’ restaurant now, are ye? Last time saw ye it was ready-myde soots.” “You're . tArry. Tm always changin’. I s'pose I'm one o° them rest- less souls.”"—Tit-Bits (London). For the Trophy Room Derren (at the first tee): Wasn't that drive a pippin? Oh, boy, did eit v? Task you, did you see it sail straight for the g Faiexn (disgustedly): Yes, 1 saw it. It is a great pity you can’t get it stuffed and mounte Metropolitan Golfer. Siew in East Liverpool, Ohio: —Buffalo Courier-Exprese. At the Fancy Dress Ball Waitress at Refreshment Buffet: 2 00d LONG DRINK? YES, SIR, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE—A SAUCER OF MILK? —Humorist (London). comicbooks.com