Life, 1926-10-28 · page 8 of 36
Life — October 28, 1926 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces about everyday urban life, likely from the early 20th century. **"Knee or Nothing!"** mocks the adoption of the metric system in America. The cartoon shows an oyster vendor and customer, with dialogue about oyster sizes. The satire suggests resistance to metric measurements—the dealer offers sizes by collar measurement instead of metric units, poking fun at Americans' reluctance to abandon traditional measurement systems. **"No News Is Good News"** presents a domestic humor piece about a woman reading sensationalist fiction and becoming increasingly paranoid about intruders and crime. The satire targets both pulp literature's exaggerated danger narratives and the anxieties they created in readers. The **Fashion** section parodies diet trends and Paris fashion trends.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Rip: Wow CAN WE PROVE WE WEREN'T WITH THE REST OF THE GANG? Gyp: HERE COMES OUR ALIBI Now, Knee or Nothing! AgcuBisHop RUIZ of Mexico has decreed that the bottom of a v's skirt shall be only fifteen meters from her ankle. On hearing this news, there was a sharp decrease in the demand among our flappers for America’s adoption of the metric system. Woman: No News Is Good News “HAVE you any relatives living “I don't know—I haven't read the morning newspaper yet.” I WANT TO BUY SOME OYSTERS. Dealer: LARGE OR SMALL, MADAM? Woman: Wet, THEY’RE FOR A MAN WITH A SIZE THIRTEEN COLLAR. Fashion ] RS. SPRATT was very And wanted to be lean. She counted all her calories, Down to a single bean. And then she read that Paris said The new lines would be curves, So now she lives on almond tarts And apricot preserves. MM. October Greatly encouraged at the 6th Prowress made in settling our new household, it be- ing now possible to see patches of the floor in some rooms, but kept to my bed in spite of the many things to be done, my servants having po- litely intimated, to my intense de- light, that they do labour to better purpose without my assistance, Reading a tale called “The Bad Samaritan” whereof the heroine did gurgle, “I have never had so inuch fun in all my life!” when her swain did allow her to push the bus fares in the conductor's slot machine, and it was the final straw to decide me that in the future I do not want to read any fiction about characters under thirty years of age unless it be wrote by Booth Tarkington, Frank Swin- nerton, or similar rare and expert researchers into spiritual recesses Finally up, and did on the chiffon gown which reminds Sam of my hav- ing failed to dodge a can of tomatoes, and forth to luncheon at Marge Boothby’s, where I did find several of my cronies, and the talk turned to nocturnal aberrations, whereupon Lucy Hodges said her spouse had spoken but once in his sleep in all their married life, and that he had said, “Very well, my good fellow, then you will be named as the co- respondent in this case!" and Lucey. hoping to get more out of him, had asked, “Why, dear?” but she would have done better, methinks, to ask, “Who?” I do wish that the same reticence could be spoken of my Sam- uel, who is always bawling out in the night watches, addressing to i- nary foes such injunctions as stop! Don’t come a step further!” in such tones of helpless terror that I do pray no actual maraud- ers ever invade our dwelling. Along (Continued on page 28) “Stop! comicbooks.com