Life — August 19, 1926 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

27 A Roman Holiday A tatxative child was disturbing the audience in a movie theatre while the screen was showing a photoplay based on the burning of Rome. “Who is ‘at man?” she insisted. “That is Nero,” the mother whispered. “Doris, do be quiet.” “What is he doing?” “He is playing the fiddle.” “What is that burning in the park?” “Hush, dear; those are martyrs.” There was silence for a few moments; then the youngster created a small-sized commotion when she insisted vocifer- ously: Mamma, are all martyrs inflam- mable?"—Youngstown Telegram. Nothing’s Impossible Sax was an old Southern darkey whose amiability would never permit him to acknowledge a thing could not be done, even though he was utterly at a loss as to procedure. He was called by a tenant in the flat where he was janitor to ex- 1 leaky pipe. “Now, I could find he said, scratching a be- wildered head, then added in a burst of inspiration, “ef I could jest locate it.” —Indianapolis News. The Girl: wWeELLo, NELLIE SPFAKING; WHO 18 THIS? Voice: Lupwic, SWEETHEAR:. “wo? 1 CAN'T UNDERSTAND You, “LUDWIG—L FoR LUDWIG, U FoR ULRICH, D FOR DIETRICH, W FOR WILLIAM, T FOR IGNATZ, G FOR GEORGE——” “RUT, DEAREST, JUST WILICH ONE OF THE SIX ARE You?” —Fliegende Blitter (Munich). Cetiaret without Abbott's Bitters. Al mall, 25 eta, C, W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, M Model Young Men A youne woman wished to receive in- structions in driving a motor car, and telephoned an automobile association to learn if it could give her lessons. “We don't give them here,” said a male voice, “but call up the Y. M. C. A.” “Are they good?” she asked. “Madam,” came the voice in outraged moral tones, “it’s the Y. M. C. A.!" —Argonaut. te, sideboard or ocean steamer kit ts incomplete ida digestion. Sample by Ending in ‘‘Haha” Tuey want a new name for Surely there must be some In which means Little-Place-Where-There Is-a-Terrific- Lot-of - Noise - and -Where- 100-Persons-Dance-in-an -Area - of -T Square-Feet-and-Where - Mineral-Water- Costs-$1-a-Pint.—New York World. Troubles Never Come Singly “You can take your finger off that leak now, Father.” “Thank Heaven! Is the plumber here at last?” “No—the house is on fire!"—Tit-Bits, is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Britain, Canada and British Possessions. JS. Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign ies in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back mbers cannot be supplied. text ond illustrations in Live are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter gland. Title registered in U eddressed envelope. The foreign trade supplied from Live's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal,’ Canada, No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and Live does mot hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions, Notice of change of ad¢ to the dete of issue to be afc Canadian distributor, The American s should reach this ofice two weeks prior Today as in 1856 \ Sf The World's Finest Pipe Obrainable in America only at the more exclu- sive clubs and the better hotels and tobacconists. Featured, among other places, at Tee Waldorf Ateria—New York The Ploza—New York The William Penn—Pittiburgh The Boot Cadillac—Detreit —and, of course, at your own club LOEWE of the Haymarket, London Guaranteed by FABER, COE AND GREGG, INC.—New York comicbooks.com