Life — August 12, 1926 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Maud: vi Beatri. S THAT CALLOW SHE! YES, BUT HE HASN'T ASKED ME TO NAME THE Day! The Straw That Made the Worm Turn HEN the reserves arrived they found Jones bumping the counterman’s head on the id the counter. story, as told to the desk sergeant, is worthy of the attention of all lunch-room habitués. As Jones told it: “Monday I had to lunch in a hurry, so I decided to try ‘The Java Joint.’. When I asked for a ham sandwich the counterman and I replied: ‘On white, plea: “He gi ¢ it to me on rye and I let it go at that, for I was in a hurry. “Tuesday I asked for a corned beef sandwich and he said: ‘On rye?’ to which I ‘On white,’ although I answered: knew it was a useless request. He served me corned beef on rye. “Wednesday, that was yesterday, I called for an American — cheese sandwich and he s ‘On rr. and I re torted: ‘On white.’ “T got a cheese sand- wich on rye. “To-day I ordered a combination che and ham and he ‘On rye?’ to which I replied: ‘YES,’ “He looked at me for a moment and then said: ‘Thought you always took ’em on white,’ so “TOL’ABLE BAD. I went over the counter after him and if the cops had waited a minute longer I'd have done for him.” It is asserted that over one thou- sand frequenters of lunch-rooms have already signified their intention of backing Jones to the limit. He was bailed out by an old gentleman who always asks for “coffee, black” and gets “coffee, half milk.” E. T. Conroy. # HAT is this Horn of Plenty you hear of?” “Must be the saxophone.” “Wow’s THINGS IN YOUR OUTFIT, JOE?” MOVIE CAREER.” HALF 0’ THE HANDS 18 TRYIN’ TO WRITE WESTERN FICTION AN’ THE OTHER HALP’S STUDYIN’ FER A Wee Moderns ce ’"MON, Sue, let's play house,” “Aw, what's the use?” “Aw, c’mon.” “Aw right. I'll bring my dolls.” “Yeh, but one will do. Nobody has more’n one.” ‘ “T'll be Mother.” “No, I’ll be Mother. You can be nurse. Nurse has a beau.” “So's Mother.” “Bobby can be Father.” “No, he can be the bootlegger.” “Aw right, we don’t need a father, I'll be getting a divorce.” “Put those sticks in for cigar ettes, “There goes the ‘phone. you must answer it. Tell ’ "phone me so carly again. y just having lunch in bed. © is it Mr. Boot? Hello, Mr. Boot. Yes, the last was fine. Sure, it’s all gone. Good-by, Mr. Boot.” “Now I'll give baby a bath.” “No, no, don’t bother about baby, Get some fudge and cocoa for Mr. Boot. We must be polite.” “Aw, I don’t want to play any more. Let's go up on the porch and listen to ‘em talk!” Marjorie Fisher. Supernatural History For the Summer Vacationist The Moose and the Mouse. The carries a complete hall hatrack upon its head. The Mouse does not. The Mouse will eat cheese. The Moose doesn't care for it. 2) The Guide and the Goose. The Guide wears a hat. 3) The Bee and the Beetle. Squeeze the subject gently between the thumb and _ fore- finger. The difference will be immediately ap- parent. 4) The Ant and the Aunt. There is no es- sential difference. 5) The President and the Pike. One at each end of the string, but the Pike doesn’t call it “vacation.” W. W. Scott. comicbooks.com