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Life, 1926-05-27 · page 38 of 44

Life — May 27, 1926 — page 38: what you’re looking at

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Life — May 27, 1926 — page 38: Life, 1926-05-27

What you’re looking at

This page contains several pieces of satire and advertising from an early 20th-century American magazine: **"P.P.C." (Poem):** A romantic satire about courtship's harsh reality. A man recalls kissing a woman who dreamed of paradise; he fled because her "paradise" was mundane domesticity—a cottage with garage, six alternating-sex children, and a Ford automobile. The joke targets both women's limited aspirations and men's fear of marriage's ordinariness. **"The Complete College Education":** Mock-serious satire listing absurd "courses" graduates supposedly master—sleeping through lectures, memorizing drinking songs, consuming junk food at midnight. The punchline: all this produces "one bond salesman." It mocks both higher education's perceived uselessness and post-college disappointment. **"Clearly Justifiable":** A lawyer's courtroom defense is absurdly circular: his weak-hearted client shot someone in the back because he couldn't catch him otherwise. It satirizes legal sophistry and courtroom rhetoric. The page also features period advertisements for Eversharp pens, garters, and Liquid Arvon dandruff treatment—typical of magazine monetization of the era.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

os days end— ‘ommencement is here d workaday life is beginning. Give the graduate a gift that carries both sentiment and Practica tye o% Give ng that bridges these momen- 50 be and reality, translate the chance thought into sure ad= wancement, somet Give the gift that bet- ter than any other teaches Success first lesson: PUT IT ON PaPER! y v Success onthe man ho keeps in line with inking those best Is of an active EVERSHARP AND WAHL PEN. an There's an Eversharp for you in any style and size you sount. This one, the popular rd gift and business model, with 18 inches of head up its sleeve, gold= filed at $ pe J Perfect writing mate for Eversharp is the wew Wahl Pen, Finely balanced; beaw- tifully and lastingly made of | precicus gold and silvers ) precisely designed to match X your Eversharp, in combina ) ‘tiem sets, or individually Ca EVERSHARP WAHL PEN 1034, The Wad! Co,, Coteage Canadian Pectory, Terente LIFE P.P.C, THe day we kissed, that summer day, ered why I fled away! You w ise could equal this,” op I cried, enraptured by your kiss, Til I saw Your dream of paradise zing deep within your eyes, A cottage (with garage annexed), Six children, alternately sexed; A Ford to meet the 7:03, And stepping from the station—me! The day we kissed, that summer day, You wondered why I fled away ! Sy The Complete College Education The Training RACTICAL ETHICS—One year fur and gencral servant to. upperclassmen. Arts—TH via Fuller. ace tender, as messenger boy, ability to live in a Fine apered with magazine covers. istry—The ability to consume large quantities of ice ¢ pie and hot dogs at midnight chology — Train am, ches. in memory culminating in the retenti football work, two ion of songs, one Alma Mater, and seventeen yells that imitate a can- non and a siren. Foreign Languages—One complete edition of Boccaccio. Houschold Arts—The politely without really getting a single ility to listen word, English—A_ voc: words and 25 asse lary of 600 slang ted wise-cracks, and the habit of saying, “Like you and I.” H —The ability to sleep peace- fully at all hours of the day, no matter how noisy the lecturer. Religion —The fraternity pin, hats-off for the Alma Mater, the ns” on the Meaning of Life. L —Th without any assert anything without proof. The Finished Product One bond salesman. the “bull sessi ability to discuss any topic knowledge of it, and to WL. Werner. Clearly Justifiable Arizona lawyer was addressing the “Seli-defense, gentle- . and nothing else,” “Tt is my client chased the deceased five miles—and shot him in the back—but the reason o' that ketch up with the turn him ‘round and at him in front What could my client do? My client has a weak heart—if he'd run two hoots and a holler more he'd have dropped dead hisself, so he had to shoot at forty rods to save his own life—and right smart shootin’ yo'll agree that it was, gentlemen of the jury!” jury he said. was, he couldn't varmint so t shi as to Some men. are guided solely by appearance— and get—just garters. Some are guided by appearance and price and get—-just garters But the wise garter buyer is guided by appear- ance, price and the construction and gets AGRIPPA WEB Bostons The non-skidding “ garter with the wrinkle proof pad—the last word! in garter comfort George Frost Company, Boston Makers of Veloet Grip Hose Supporter = for All the Family. eo * A Better Way ‘D° girls say ‘Ask Father’ any more?” ure; only they wait till the bills ‘ome in after marriage.” A Sure Way To End Dandruff There is one sure way that never fails to remove dandruff complete! is to dissolve it. en you destroy it entirely, To do this, just apply a little Liquid Arvon at night before retiring; use enough to moisten the scalp and rub it in gently with the finger tip: By morning. most, if not all, of your dandruff will be gone, and two or three more appl 13 will completely dissolve and entirely destroy every single sign and trace of it, no matter how much dandruff you may have. You will find, too, that all itching of the will belustrous, glossy, silky and soft, and look and fect a” hun. Tos LIQUID ARVON [reenter comicbooks.com