Life — May 6, 1926 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COMPLETE SUCCESS Young Housewife: awe YOU SURE THIS CLEANER THAT YOU ARE SELLING WILL REALLY TAKE OUT THE DIRT? Agent; wits 11? SAY, LADY, YESTERDAY I RUBBED SOME OF IT ON A COPY OF Scandalous Stories AND WHEN 1 GOT THROUGH I HAD THE Sunday School Gasette! The Man With a Tender Skin HAVE tried everything. I have tried the old-fashioned razor.. I have stropped it, honed it, oiled it, sharpened it on an old pair of boots, buried it in the back yard in the full of the moon, sharpened pencils with it. I have tried every known model of safety razor, and all known descriptions of sharpeners. I have tried soaps, powders, creams, I have experimented with all the whipped cream concoctions which are supposed to make the shaving brush obsolete. I have a five-foot shelf filled with lotions and before-and-after applica- tions, : Every time I see a chemist helding up a test tube to the light of the adver- tising pages, I send a dime or a quarter or whatever they need, and try something else. I read (in all the seven lan- guages) the literature packed in with the product. And still I can’t see what is so funny about the pictures of the two Smith Brothers, Edwin H. Blanchard. A Public. Necessity ‘D° you believe in movie censor- ship?” “No, indeed; the young people have to have some place for their love-making.” MEN have found dying for freedom much simpler than getting it. THE GIRL WHO DIDN'T WALK HOME (aud this, by the way, is the final ruriation of that joke). The White House Sphinx ASHINGTON, D. C.—Presi- dent Coolidge met the news- paper correspondents this after- noon on one of the local golf courses. He drove off at 2:31 and sliced his ball into the rough. The correspondents asked what about the situation. The Spokesman for the White House re- fused to commit himself. Mr. Coolidge chose a mashie niblick to pitch onto the fairway, but the ball hit among the tree branches and dropped, still just in the rough. The Spokesman for the White House said he thought it ad- visable not to discuss the matter at the moment. Mr. Coolidge pitched onto the fairway again and chose a midiron. His approach was dead on the green, but dropped a few feet. short into a sandtrap. The Spokesman for the White House said—well, never mind what he said. The President needed three strokes to get out of the trap onto the green. At this point, without being asked a question, the Spokesman for the White House said that he didn't see how in the world a man could be expected to play golf with a gang of grinning imbeciles standing around asking him silly questions; it was bad enough, said the Spokesman for the White House, to have to contend with an asinine grounds committee that would insist on putting traps in the ex- act spot where they would penalize a perfect shot, but when a collection of baboons followed a man everywhere he went, even into the rough, why, then, said the Spokesman for the White House—but at this point the corre- spondents departed in a body, because they saw the Spokesman for the White House speculatively hefting a mashie in their direction. James Kevin McGuinness. For sHealth’s Sake Botts: Bring me my diet list, will you? Gray: But you've just had dinner. “I have, but now I’m going to eat what the doctor ordered!” EMBERS of the French Cabinet are demanding one day off a week. Unless this request is granted, it is said that the entire Cabinet has agreed to refuse to resign. comicbooks.com