Life — January 21, 1926 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IF, LIKE MOST MEN, your taste runs to Turkish Blend cigarettes and you are seeking ofie a cut above the ordinary because of the finer grades of tobacco it containg, then learn from Fatima what a whale ofla difference just a few cents make WHAT A WHALE OF A DIFFERENCE JUST A FEW CENTS MAKE Lioortt & Myexs Tosacco Co All the World's a Fake Imitation Pearls. Marked Cards. Loaded Dice. Modern Antiques. Bootleg Liquor. Spurious Masterpieces. False Hearts BURNSsgSCALDS | Stop the throbbing and at cee with a soothing touch: ouch of Resinol TNSIST UPON KEMP’ s BALSAM | FOR THAT COUCH! The Perfect Alumnus Hr is always good for railroad fare ck to college after a week-end spent in intensive sociological research in the city, He never tells stories of the prac- tical jokes played by the mad fellows of the class of ‘94. He knows what constitutes a liberal education. You can’t get him into a conversation about the sins of the younger genera tion, His memory is too good. He is the perfect alumnus. He knows the old school’s basketball schedule McC. H Betta: Have you ever met the only man you could be happy with? Detta: Oh, lots of them! The Under Dog I wisn something could be done about the increasing impoliteness of women. I don’t ask for courtesy, but 1 don’t sce what the gain is in being downright mean; I am sure it doesn’t make them feel any better. They are no longer satisfied with being simply i eable; they have begun to talk intering a street car and stand- ing directly in front of a man, hypno- tizing him with a steely stare until he gives up his seat, was considered pretty bad a few years ago, but at least they didn’t make side remarks in those days; it was rude, but it was silent. But now, unless you happen to be an extraordinarily big man (and even then you are not perfectly safe), you had better take your chances on the side- walk and keep away from all kinds of seats; they will aside any sensitive man out of his seat in two stations. li they come to the theatre late, that's your hard luck. Three heavy women came late to a matinee on Wednesday. (Don't criticize me, please; I had to go.) The first one tried out the crown of my hat and, find- ing that it made pleasant walking, walked on it. The second one kicked it over on its side and mashed it out longitudinally. The third one tried to put a hole through the top and caught her toe; her gl. at me nearly put a hole through my top. There was only thing to do— “I beg your pardon,” I said. “Why don’t you check it!” she hissed. “I'm sorry,” I said; “I thought you ” But this wasn’t any excuse. When the lights were turned weren't coming on between the acts she made it so un- pleasant for me that I had to go out- side until it was dark again. This is just an example. I should like to see something done to check it Really, all I ask is a little tolerance and civility. My point is just that we all pretty well have to live here and we might as well make the best of it; we have all been put here together though I admit that we men are get- ting to be less and less essen! I don't think it is very sportsmanlike of women to be high-handed about it. Men weren't put here through any wish of their own, yet women seem to think men are stay- ing here out of cussedness. I don’t claim that men ought to be put on a pedestal, but I do claim that they haven't any other place to go, and that it is the least women can do to put up with them with a good grace; there's no use making a scene about something that can’t be helped. I don’t ask Equal Rights for men, but, after all, they are human and do deserve some considera- tion, if it is only being ignored. B. F. comicbooks.com