Life, 1926-01-14 · page 7 of 40
Life — January 14, 1926 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"The Materialist"** (Berton Braley poem): Mocks a man focused solely on physical comforts—food, clothing, shelter—who ignores philosophical or social concerns. The satire targets materialism as shallow philosophy. **"Law's Old Sweet Way"**: A brief story about a man receiving letters marked "Opened by Mistake" that reveal a legal loophole. The satire critiques how laws can be technically circumvented through deliberate misinterpretation. **"Just Boys"** and **"If Headlines Were Literally True"**: Humorous vignettes using wordplay and absurdist logic. The cartoon illustrates a shabby old man offering homing pigeons as a wedding gift—visual humor accompanying satirical commentary on literal headline interpretations. The overall page exemplifies Life's editorial approach: combining poetry, short prose, and illustrations to satirize contemporary social attitudes and legal/administrative absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
waged The Materialist HE Higher Realm of Thought Sub- lime He doesn't w or understand; So long as meals arrive on time He is complacent, smug and bland. His lazy limbs, his portly form Are clad in garments finely spun; So long as he is snug and warm He cares not how the world is run What does he care if women slave To weave and sew a shirt for him? To labor problems deep and grave, To social questions harsh and grim, He gives no thought, So long as he Is fed and clothed and has his rest. The world’s all right—Philosophy That's highly selfish at the best Food, clothing, comfort, service, care, He takes them as his rightful due, And how they come or whence or where He doesn't ask. Is stolid, bourgeois. I insist That here you certainly behold The Absolute Materialist A healthy baby, three months old! His point of view Berton Braley If Headlines Were Literally True “President Cleans His Desk” RESIDENT COOLIDGE aturday with a pail of spent warm water, some rags and a stiff brush He first removed the blotter and pads from his mahogany desk, then put the ink away ¢ His secretary helped him to r Massive structure over to the w where the light was better. After wiping the dust off, the Chief Executive rubbed and forty minvtes. When the desk was dry agai applied linseed oil and lemon to the surface and put a new shine on the hed efully UM the scrubbed for Silent executive mahogany and even varn the scratch made by a former owner. Puffing a bit from the exertion, he finally rolled his desk back in place picked up his pails, rags and bottles, and went to wash his hands for lunch. James A. Sanaker upon a time, a man received with known. slogan, cribed “Opened by He mildly resented this in private affairs. But when he begat receive other letters in the sa: dition, he was tho! From futile fury he culation. He that there was actually sed to cold cal ated and fc inves law a opening mail addressed to another and if a catch , delib He was even reasoned that a law is a law; one law can be obviated by phrase, why cannot another? S ned it somewhat aglow over the brilliant Idea, and wondered why hadn't erately, he p some one rew: WEEL, IF I MUST GIF MIM A PAIR O° MY Law's Old Sweet Way efore and acted u the n had letters ai ‘Opened by M placed ught of it killed who dead t read, “Murdered by Time passed. He He thought it Sut as he read accounts of from day to day i on his was was due it slowly da mm him that he needn't have been explicit A. G. L Just Boys Hah! We got twins at Cheee! How many? HE HOMING comicbooks.com