Life, 1926-01-07 · page 21 of 40
Life — January 7, 1926 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This 1920s-era humor piece satirizes both taxi drivers and aggressive automobile salesmanship. A salesman pitches increasingly absurd "features" to a skeptical taxi driver—reinforced brakes (justified by coins jolting loose from sudden stops), a rigged meter that "spins like a roulette wheel," and a horn so loud it sounds like a drunk man in delirium tremens. The joke escalates when the salesman claims the taxi has a machine gun on the radiator cap. The driver's interest perks up—until learning it's non-functional, merely decorative ("a talisman" or "figurehead"). Disgusted at being duped, the driver leaves. The satire targets both the gullible buyer and the con-artist salesman, reflecting post-WWI anxieties about fraud and commercialism. The fake machine gun—useless but tempting—represents empty promises in aggressive sales tactics of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Selection Tue Taxt Driver (perking up): That's a swell idea— but 1 don't think you could get away with it. Howsa brakes? Tur SatesMAN: Oh, boy! We've had to put in extra- heavy plate glass in front to keep the passengers from crashing through on the back of your neck. Those brakes are worth real money to you. Tue Taxt Driver: Yeah? How so? Tue SatesMAN: One of our customers was Ging in heavy traffic, recently. After the fare #0) out, he looks in the back of his bus and the urtkes had jolted two dollars and thirty-seven cents in) ose change out of the fare, and a couple of gold tecth: Tue Taxt Driver: I could do better than that. Howsa meter? Tue ESMAN: Now I got to laugh. That meter has got more trick hook-ups than Atwater Kent's old man. Ycou got hand, foot and knee control in five-, ten- and twenty-five-cent units. You can make it rua backwards just by deep breathing and leaning over the wheel. A little practice in- your spare time and it will roll over and play dead. Every time you hit a bump it spins around like a roulette wheci. Tue Taxt Driver: Well, I should hope it would. I ain't buying this for a pleasure car. Howsa horn? Tne SacesMAN: The horn was reproduced from a record made by the world’s champion heavy drinker in the last stages of delirium Automobile Row She (demurely): 1 THINK YOUR CLUTCH NEEDS TIGHTENING. tremens. Only it's been amplified. Listen! (He sounds the horn.) Tue Taxt Daven: LOOK OUT! What th—! (He recovers himself.) Yeah, it’s not so bad. Tue SatesMaANn: Bullet-proof windshield, disappearing license plates, rock-a-bye baby springs, zeppelin tires, boiler factory gears, and time-locks on both doors. A nice heavy monkey wrench is at- tached handy to either hand. And now how about the old dotted line? Tue Taxt Driver: Well, I dunno, All that’s kind of standard taxicab equipment, what I mean. Ain't you got any new wrinkles? Tre SatesMAN (thinking fast and desperately): New wrinkles? Did you notice the little machine gun on the radiator cap? Tue Taxt Driver (brightening right up): A little machine gun? = Well, now, that’s an idea! Say, I don't know but what 1 won't— Tue SALESMAN; Grab it while it’s hot, brother. Tue Taxt Driver (musing): A_ little machine gun....Say— does it work? Tue SALESMAN: Well, er—no. It's a toy, you know—just a sort of a talisman, Tne Taxi Driver: It don't work? THE SALESMAN: No—it's just a figure- head. Tue Taxt Driver: Aw, hell, I knew there was a catch to it! (He walks out of the salesrooms.) H.W. Hanemann. “ye night.” “How so?” “She wanted him to tune the radio in on some jazz and he picked a fight.” S had words his wife last books.com