Life — December 31, 1925 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LOOK, MOTHER! DOLLY WON'T TALK OR CLOSE HER EYES ANY MORE—DON’T YOU THINK WE'D BETTER GET HER PSYCHOANALYZED?” The Spirit of the Season HE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of the Tidvale General Products Com- pany had been called together in ex- traordinary session. President, Chair- man and General Manager Tidvale, his round, red face beaming with Pick- wickian benevolence, assumed control, “My friends,” he said, and his voice shook with an unwonted emo- tion, “I have called you to- night to suggest that we for- mulate a plan whereby we may do a little, just a little, some- thing toward making the lives of our loyal and beloved—yes, I will say beloved—employees brighter and happier throughout this, the glad New Yea “Just like Old G. M pered First Vice-President Meacham, furtively wiping a tear from his eye. “T have my own little plan in mind,” continued President Tid- vale, “but before announcing it, I should welcome your ideas.” A very obscure young director cleared his throat timidly. “I wonder,” he said mildly, “if we couldn’'t—ah—afford to give each man and woman who has been in our employ for—ah —a year a—ah—little raise?” “I am surprised at you, Mr. Oafington,” declared President Tidvale with just a trace of as- perity. “I had expected better of you. It has, I grant you, “YES, sIR, MAC! PAINTING THEIR KNEES—BOY—Y’ WOULDN'T KNOW THE been a good—an excellent year for this company with which I have the honor to have my name connected. The sur- plus is unusually large, but—a raise, Mr. Oafington? Don’t you understand that man’s most precious possession is his independence, his initiative? That we cannot place the honest, zealous ef- ALL THE FRENCH OLD JOINTS Now.” FLAPPERS ARE forts upon a sordid monetary basis? Come, come, try again, Mr. Oafington.” “A great heart, Old G. M.'s,” con- fided Mr. Meacham to his neighbor, “W-w-well,” stammered the very ob- scure young director, more nervous than ever, “s-suppose we let the Saturday half-holiday schedule run the year round instead of only during the sum- mer. I'm sure that——” “And I am sure, Mr. Oafington,” in- terrupted President Tidvale sternly, “I am sure, sir, that you are either a ninny, sir, or—or a zany, sir, or—yes, or a Bolshevist, sir! You would put a premium on idleness, sir! You would upset the very fundamentals of indy trialism, sir! But come,” he adde bit more gently, “can no one help us “A great brain, Old G. M.'s,” said Mr. Meacham admiringly, and almost loudly enough for the chairman to hear, But neither he nor the others could suggest anything. “Then,” announced Mr. Tidvale, “with your permission, gentlemen, and with your very kind acquiescence, Mr. Oafington, I shall proceed to put in practice my own little idea....” And the next day the employees of the Tidvale General Products Com- pany were more than delighted, you may be sure, to find suspended in the middle of the office a great, gaily decorated sign read- ing: “A Very, Very Harry New Year to Each anp Every One.” Tip Bliss. Playing Safe ILLIS: This isa fine flat you have here. What a nice-looking phonograph! Guts: That isn’t a phono- graph. That's our heater. Wits: How stupid of me! And what an attractive stand you have! Guts: That isn’t a stand. That's our combination bed and dining-room table. Wituis: Of course, And— er—is this pretty creature here the baby or the dog? A Statesman STATESMAN’S one, the record indicates, Who states and states and states and states and states. comicbooks.com