Life — November 19, 1925 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Young Bride (in desperation) : MY ACCOUNTS. OH, DEAR, HOW DO YOU ADD UP TWO POUNDS OF § I CAN'T MAKE HEAD NOR TAIL OF K AND A DOZEN ORAN Nees Repi Diary October Coming out of church this morning I did slip on a piece 25th of defective paving and sprain both my ankles, therewith, hav- ing but two legs, forestalling consola- tion on the Pollyanna principle, albeit I suppose I should rejoice not to have knocked out a few teeth, which I might easily have done from the nature of my fall. So home, holpen by Marge Boothby and a kindly taxi driver, and Sam, who is always expecting to see me brought in on a stretcher, gazed upon me with sympathy but no astonishment. Then Dr. Cuff in to look at my feet, and my servant Florence, who is always complaining that she can tell me noth- ing nor administer any medicines be- cause of the difficulty in catching me, THE TACKLERS DESIST, WHICH—— did receive his instructions with a grim expression which betokened that she had me this time. So submitting throughout the day to frequent lavings of lead and opium, an evil-looking mix- ture resembling muddy water, but one which does draw out pain like a magnet. Listening, also, while Mr. Dowden, the Indianapolis barrister, did tell Sam of the lawsuit involving the great Indiana war memorial, which, should the case go against the architects, will have to be projected all over again. And I did make a suggestion as to how the suit could be won which set both men in a gale, and they lamented loudly that judges and juries did not have my clear- ness of vision, but I paid no heed to their raillery....Gazing from my bed this evening upon the various objects in the room, I did suddenly ask of my husband, who sat there reading, If I should die and you should marry again, what would you do with my wax minia- ture? whereupon he gave me such a dark look and left the room with such haste that it set me wondering what he would do with it. The agony in my feet some- what abated, but even so I cannot use them for several days, so lay abed, pondering upon one thing and another, in especial my sim- ple-mindedness, and what can be done to rid me of it, for Lord! I am alr childish in expecting people to fu their promises and obligations, and when I am told even by vendors that such and such a concession is being made because the other party to the transaction happens to be myself, I do believe them, and oftentimes thank them for their courtesy and consideration Wearing my spectacles this morning, which I rarely do, I did find occasion to be grateful for being somewhat myopic, for without them I should not be con- scious of the fact that the braid on my bedroom chintz has run a little or that Meta Ardsley, who did drop in to sce me, is so homely. Meta told me she had done all her Christmas shopping, a statement which I suspected until she did vouchsafe further that she was ing men, women and children pickles and preserves put up by a relative in the country, an idea which I consider excellent, and I do pray that my name be on her list. Lord! I had liefer have something good to eat for a present, however unpretentious, than somebody else’s idea of a door-stop, or a telephone (Continued on page 34) AUTOMATICALLY ELIMINATES “BULL” FROM ACTIVE DUTY. comicbooks.com