Life, 1925-11-05 · page 35 of 50
Life — November 5, 1925 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces from Life magazine: **"Why They Call It Heaven"** is the main story, a morality tale mocking the "Efficiency Expert" archetype—corporate self-help culture personified by "Pep-Plus-Personality Perkins." The joke: Perkins boasts to an angel about his ruthless business success, only to discover the angel is Jim Scroggs, the poor coworker he refused to help. He's damned not to Hell literally, but to spend eternity with the person he wronged. It satirizes cutthroat 1920s business culture and its hollow "bootstraps" mentality. **"The Lady" cartoon** mocks tabloid newspapers' sensationalism—a woman casually discusses murdering her husband while negotiating payment rates with a newspaper editor, treating crime as commodity. **"Getting His Bearings"** ridicules "Newriche" (nouveau riche—newly wealthy people lacking class sophistication), suggesting they'll adopt heraldic symbols without understanding them. All three pieces target American commercialism, social climbing, and moral corruption disguised as success.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Why They Call It Heaven ONCE there was an Efficiency Ex- pert (known to the trade as Pep- Plus-Personality Perkins) who, upon his death, applied for admittance to Heaven, He was met at the Pearly Gates by a Mild but Prosperous Angel. “Good morning,” said Mr. Perkins briskly and convincingly, for he had learned that it Always Pays to speak briskly and convincingly. “I am known as Pep-Plus-Personality Perkins. Per- mit me to present my qualifications, which, I am sure—" “But—” interposed the Mild Angel mildly. “One moment, please,” interrupted Mr. Perkins firmly, for firmness is also a necessary attribute. “Thirty-six years ago, poor old Jim Scroggs and I worked together at the same bench, Both had the same advantages. Then one day came OPPORTUNITY and I SAW it and GRASPED it!” “But—” said the Mild Angel. But P.-P.-P. Perkins was accustomed to overriding objections, so he continued : “Poor old Jim only laughed at me, but I KEPT ON PLUGGING! Then one day Mr. Stevens called me into his office and said: ‘Perkins, 1 HAVE HAD MY EYE ON YOU. We have an opening here for a HUSTLER, and, Perkins, THAT POSITION IS YOURS!” “But—” said the Mild Angel. “Twelve years later,” went on Mr. Perkins undisturbed, “as I was sitting before my Large Mahogany Desk in \ STAVIA q The Lady (to tabloid newspaper editor): SAY, LISTEN—I'VE DECIDED TO BUMP OFF MY HUSBAND WHEN HE GETS HOME FROM WORK TO-NIGHT, AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF A WORD RATE YOU PAY FOR CONFESSIONS. my Spacious Private Office answering a Myriad Telephone Calls and dic- tating to a Bevy of Stenographers, poor old Jim Scroggs came in and apologetically asked for a raise. Do you know what I told him? I repeat, do you know what I told him?” KAtIO MeRUBC TORIC. COMPANY THE CASH-AND-CARRY SYSTEM AS PRACTICED IN NEW YORK “L think so,” “but——" “What I told him,” continued Mr. Perkins, “was this: ‘Jim,’ I said, ‘I re- gret this, but YOU HAVE HAD YOUR CHAD ND MISSED IT! No, Jim, this world is FOR THE MAN WHOIS TR GETS WHAT HE And that, Mr. Angel, i will be, I am sure, said the Mild Angel, “I'm sorry, Perk,” said the Mild but Prosperous Angel, “but we got the ad- vance tip you were coming and my in- structions are to give you the air.... Incidentally, don't you remember me? Why, I'm old Jim Scroggs.” Well, after that there seemed to be only one place for Mr. Perkins to go to. Tip Bliss. Getting His Bearings “AND will you want a coat-of-arms on this silver, Mr. Newriche?” “I dunno. Lemme sce some samples.” ADIO broadcasting is one business that always flourishes in the hands of a receiver. comicbooks.com