Life, 1925-09-17 · page 5 of 36
Life — September 17, 1925 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct humor pieces: 1. **"How to Do an Autumn Lyric Safely"** — A poem mocking the sentimental clichés of autumn poetry, with the illustration "The Censor Takes a Shower" showing someone bathing behind a curtain. 2. **"Utterances That Would Surprise Me"** — A collection of one-liners featuring public figures (President Coolidge, Ann Pennington, Texas Guinan, Michael Arlen, and others), presenting absurd statements they'd never actually make—satirizing their public personas. 3. **"A Joke in Coal Circles"** — A brief anecdote about mine workers and coal operators discussing public relations. 4. **"Prehistoric Wife"** — A cartoon showing cavemen and dinosaurs, with the caption humorously depicting domestic life with the punchline about a wife reminding her husband to drown baby dinosaurs after breakfast. The page exemplifies Life's satirical approach to contemporary culture and personalities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
How to Do an Autumn Lyric Safely ILL up your stanzas with tears and with sighing; Bring in allusions to Love that has fled ; Wilted or jilted or gruesomely aying, Some one for somewhere at last has heen sped. Ask for the why of the leaves that are falling ; Mourn for the when of the fickle birds flown; Strum of the wind that keeps plaintively calling Something or other to you all alone. Then, while your eyes are still well- springs of sorrow; Then, while old Tempus still hastily flits, Don't take a chance on a verdict to- morrow: Make it immortal and tear it to bits. Elias Lieberman. HE sermon was on vanity, but no- body paid any attention to the min- ister; all eyes were on his wife, in a front pew, applying her make-up. ev eet e THE CENSOR TAKES A SHOWER A Joke in Coal Circles “I THOUGHT I heard loud laughter in the conference room where the coal operators’ representatives are meet- ing with a committce of mine workers.” “Some wag must have remarked, ‘My friends, in this matter we've got to consider the public.’” Utterances That Would Surprise Me HE Yrs Max: No! No! No! Presipent Coouince: Grace and I think the Charleston is a wow! Ann Pennincton: To evince a predilection for butter-and-egg men is, to put it mildly, indecorous. Joun F. Hytax: Without question, I am the worst Mayor New York has ever had. Texas Guinan: Andrew Volstead is my favorite statesman. Jack Den: Tl fight Wills to- morrow, the entire “gate” to go to the American Legion. MicuaeL ARLEN: My next novel will have Whitechapel for its locale, Groxta Swanson: I prefer Keats to Shelley, Goya to Velasquez, and Brahms to Chopin. Wut Hays: Mr. Zukor feels that I am handsome enough to supplant Val- entino or Meighan, QuerN Marie or Roumanta: The personal pronoun should be eliminated. Willard King Bradley. [AWYER: What kind of a divorce do you want? Actress: About two columns. val Aig Prehistoric Wife: JOHN, DON’T FORGET TO DROWN THAT NEW LITTER OF DINOSAURS AFTER BREAKFAST, comicbooks.com