Life — August 20, 1925 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He Pps Diary My household all a-flutter this morning over the Augist arrival of a great salmon packed in ice, which 13t4 Samuel, who is fishing in Canada, did send us, and so on the telephone for almost an hour trying to portion it mongst those friends who are in town, finishing the iness with a fair idea of how the man in the Bible must have felt when he had to send to the highways and byways for his dinner guests. Then did on my new black chiffon with the wide tuckings and forth to luncheon at the Plaza arden with Lydia Loomis, cating cucumbers against my doctor's orders with extreme enjoyment. But poor Lyd could talk of nought but her hair, which she is letting grow long again, and she did relate many of the devices to which she is put to manage it at its present awkward stage, and how the housemaid who brings her breakfast had, upon sex her in a boudoir cap for the first time, burst out law: and dropped the tray. Whereupon I was minded of the man in the aisle seat who, suddenly nauseated during a performance of Billie Burke in “Rose Briar,” had caused an usher to remark, He's a damned good critic. Home, after searching vainly for a hat to suit me, and found there all sorts of rag, tag and bobtail come to keep me company, and 11 did stop to dinner and were for taking me to the nine-o'clock train to Atlantic City, but I would not let them, having a deep distaste for social civilities in a rail- way station. When I do board a train, the only person to whom L wish to bid farewell is a porter. Awake betimes, clamoring to be off toa soothsayer on the boardwalk, but Co Scovil, my hostess, did beguile the idea from my mind with diverting gos- sip until a more suitable hour for arising, and Amanda did then feed us with so fine a breakfast that I was for living in nought but the present after I had eaten it. Ina rolling (Continued on page 29) ‘GOING TOURING IN Til’ OLD BUS THIS SUMME HERE IN HIXVILLE.” WR, SMITH?” “ToURIN’ NOTHIN’! WE GOT TH’ BEST LITTLE HOT-DOG STAND 1N TH’ COUNTRY, RIGHT WLS Ly Wile “THERE, WILLIE! LET THAT BE A WARNING TO YoU. NEVER ROCK THE BOAT WHEN YOU ARE OUT IN ON Bedtime Story ONCE upon a time, when all the world was very young, a big corporation was putting up a tower. Everything was going along well enough, when one « the firm who believed in New Methods came to the conclu- sion that things could be much better. “Verily,” said he, “I will summon unto us one (1) Effi- ciency Expert who will instruct us in the process of Speed- ing Up.” Which he did straightway. The Efficiency Expert examined the situation scornfully and then spake as follows: “Gentlemen, your workmen waste four hundred and sixteen normal, or eighty-cight plumber’s, hours in use- less conversation every day.” “But how can we prevent that?” asked the Firm, “That is very simple,” said the Eff- ciency Expert. “Employ no two men who speak the same language.” And that, dear children, is how the Tower of Babel came not to be built. Bertram Bloch. Circumstantial “TS your son going to college this fall?” “He hasn't said, but he has bought a second-hand ukulele, comicbooks.com