Life — August 6, 1925 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ a f — He ad | “MARGE PULLS AN AWFUL LINE,” “YEAm? WHAT'S HER LINE?” “oH, YOU KNOW—TILAT SINCERITY STUFF.” Making Rapid Progress “ID VERY time I go ‘way from home I realize I don't appreciate Jones- ville,” said Samuel Tilden Simmons, the well-known realtor, drawing out his chair at the weekly luncheon of the Jonesville Rotary. “My wife an’ I were in New York last week an’ it took us only twenty minutes to get into the best movie in the city. When we go to the New Paradise here at home, some- times we're the best part of an hour gettin’ as far as the ticket window. We've got the most up-to-date movie in the State of Indiana an’ don't know it. “Then there's the traffic situation. Why, since they put the signal tower at the corner of Pershing Avenue and Belleau Boulevard it’s just as easy to get hit as at Fifth Avenue an’ Forty- second Street. It was a mighty good thing for Jonesville when the council- men realized that not enough people were being knocked down for a grow- ing city. They installed the signals just in time to save Jonesville’s reputa- tion. “It's the same way with the restau- rants. Used to be Jonesville was just like any other town in the Middle West; you could get a good meal for fifty cents or a dollar. But to-ddy you can get insulted an’ poisoned quicker than you can in New York. Our res- taurants are gettin’ to be more metro- politan every day, an’ I heard just th’ other day that a couple o’ girls that graduated from the University this year are going to borrow a dollar an’ a half from their fathers an’ start a tea- room, That'll round Jonesville out. When there's a tea-room here there won't be any excuse for people to go to New York at all, except to see whether th’ censored plays are as bad as they hope.” McCready Huston. Matter of History “T KNOW all about golf,” boasted the young scion of the house- hold; “the holes are numbered up to eight- cen and then the con- stitutional amendments. ASTUS: Has yuh had yer vacation? Sampo: Naw, dawg gone hit! Ah cai git fired! ROM the Scopes defense, it seems that it's not the First Fan: monkey but the prin- ciple of the thing that counts, Second Fan: Jobs HAT does the statesman talk about When speaking to the mobs? It’s jobs—just jobs. What moves the multitude to deep Appreciative sobs? It's jobs—just jobs. It matters not who rules the State As long as we participate In some percentage of the gate, And jobs. Why is it that we wink our eye When some official robs? It’s jobs—just jobs. And what's the bait they hold out to The doughboys and the gobs? It's jobs—just jobs. And though they loot our noble land We grin and think it simply grand, For we should worry while they hand Out jobs. man Lev} Down on the Farm You'd Hardly Know the Old Place Now HE place where you turned into the lane when bringing home the cows has been rented for a barbecue. Just across the way a company has leased ground from Grandpa for a fill- ing station, The wood lot is a camp for tin-can tourists. The old homestead is an antique shop. The pasture is a golf course. Grandpa is a Floridian. The only familiar thing about the old farm is the mortgage. THAT FELLOW SPENDS A LOT OP TIME ON THE FLOOR, —HE'S LEARNING THE BUS! THE GROUND UP, ESS FROM comicbooks.com