Life — April 23, 1925 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE - ¢ ie 7 Aa Kid (after ringing the doorbell nine times): 'S ALL RIGHT, MAMA, IT'S NOT THE INSTALLMENT MAN—'S ONLY MEL Security SHE was going away for the day, and had to make her apartment secure from any possible intrusion. Her sil- ver, her pictures, her bits of pottery must not be molested, nor must the perfect order of her houschold be disturbed. She locked the kitchen door and then bolted it; she locked the windows of kitchen, dining-room, living-room, bedroom, and bathroom in their turn, fastening each safety-catch with precision and care. Then she opened her front door, turning the bolts so that the autot ic night-lock would be in opera- tion when she closed the door from outside. Finally, to make sure she had neglected no point of vantage, she went through each room again, from kitchen to front hall. Satis- fied, she gave an approving glance about, another approving glance at herself in the hall mirror, and let herself out the front door, trying the knob to make sure that she had really adjusted the night-lock correctly. She had. Smiling, she opened her purse, and a look of horror spread over her face. Then she went next door and telephoned for a locksmith. Altha Leah Bass. Not as Advertised IRST THEATRE PATRON: Is this the original New York cast? Seconp: Well, they're probably from New York, but they haven't got off anything original yet. HE average man is worried to death by two classes of women—those that can’t forget him and those that can’t remember him. Ballade of Social Divertisement OD forbid that I ever tire Of simple folk and their simple pla That hour that makes strong men perspire, Their cheeks grow ashen, their lips go gray— That hour when the hostess rises to say. ow let’s play games,” and the last hope fades- Finds me unruffled, insouciant, gay, But—I'll leave ‘em flat if they start charades! The sturdy son of a stalwart sire, Through “Spin the Cover” I'll hack my way; At “Riddles” my rapier’s tipp’d with fire, At Crossword tourneys my name's Roget. Unbowed though bloody, I'll even stay While Uncle Clem makes the seven of spades Pass into an orange, but get me, pray— T'll leave ’em flat if they start charades! The “good old songs” I will loudly choir, I'll pin the tails on the donkey; yea, Though the cry is “Stunts” and my need is dire, After the darkness comes the day. “Tell us our fortunes, dear Miss Bray,”"— The threat looms large through the circling shades. But she's somebody's sister, so I'll not slay. T'll leave ‘em flat if they start charades! “Flinch” or “Forieits,” oh, what are they? Or “Pertinent Questions,” men and maids? I've one hate only, but that’s Class A: Tl leave ‘em flat if they start charades! Kenneth Allan Robinson YES, MADAM-THESE ARE PRACTICALLY UNGREAKABLE BULL IN A CHINA SHOP comicbooks.com