Life, 1925-04-09 · page 27 of 41
Life — April 9, 1925 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes modern commercial culture and corporate efficiency obsession circa the 1920s. **"A Pluperfect Day"** mocks the proliferation of prize contests and commercial writing competitions. The protagonist earns money throughout the day by submitting slogans, limericks, contest entries, and advertising copy—often duplicative or absurd efforts. The satire targets how ordinary people monetize creativity through mass-market contests, and how magazines exploit free/cheap content by offering modest prizes. **"In Conference"** ridicules corporate efficiency movements that obsess over saving time through machinery and systems, yet miss obvious solutions. The committee debates inventing a machine to stamp geometric doodles on blotting paper (time-wasting during meetings), until the youngest member suggests simply printing pre-made patterns on blotters. The joke: corporate "efficiency experts" overcomplicate problems while ignoring simple answers. **The jaywalker cartoon** references Prohibition—commenting that closing saloons has made a chronic drunk respectable by erasing his public identity, rather than actually improving society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
* LIFE A Pluperfect Day (The Dance of the Hours with One of the Illuminati, Specializing in Prize Contests) 7:30%: M.—Thinks up Ice Cream Slogan, “America’s Sweet‘art,” while doing Daily Dozen...... $500.00 8:00—Breakfast; makes last lines for seven limericks at $50.00 cach... ws 8 :30—Retires into the NCE 5 works three crossword puz- zles as follows: 1—Wecekly Picture Brevities. 2—Poultry Bulletin ms 3—Three-in-One Co. sieeie's -3 oz, can oil 9:00—Invents name for new magazine, “Equality”.$25,000.00 9:15—Writes letter: “Why I Use Sudz” (two hundred words) - ++ $50.00 10:00—Writes letter: “W! hy I U se Sope, the Wonder Dope” (three hundred words, including asterisks) .. 11:00—Thinks up title in Lire’s Picture Contest Sends in another title under Aunt Hepsic’s name, with a fifty-fifty stipulation sees $150.00 11:30—Completes Ink Slogan; not over twenty Words: “We call on ev'ry writin’ gink To tell the world with Blottem’s Ink!". $75.00 11:30 to 1:00—Rests, meditates and concentrates. 1:00 rp. m.—Lunches, and outlines Best Short Story of 19. sais ‘inishes Tiuminating ay for daughter; prize, $16,000.00 cottage... - $16,000.00 4:00—(Slowing down a trifle. ) Furnishes missing letters in Rebus; F... (| )...( )-.-D, sells 170 packages Bluing, and gets Ford Car. 5 :00— Writes letter: “How We Manage on Our In- come” ... $250.00 5 :20—Calls it a day, ‘for want of a a ‘better term. Clara Phillippi Johnson. Fable NCE there was a character in a mystery play who didn’t know the telephone number of police headquarters. HE first sign of spring: A magazine editor planning his Thanksgiving Number. Motorist (to excited jaywalker): WELL, HAVE YOU DECIDED ON ANYTHING YET? Visitor: OF COURSE, CLOSING THE SALOONS HAS RAISED YOUR HUSBAND'S STANDING IN THE COMMUNITY? Mrs, Jones: ON THE CONTRARY, MUM. IN THE OLD DAYS HE WAS POINTED OUT BY RY ONE AS TE ILLAGE DRUNK, BUT NOW YOU'D THINK HE WAS JUST NOBODY. In Conference 'HE Efficiency Committee were mecting behind closed doors to discuss ways and means of perfecting the routine of big business, and the oldest member had arisen. On all sides the members of the committee were fingering their pencils and absently tracing geometric figures on the blotters and pads before them. Some drew concentric circles, others diamonds, rhomboids, or intricate labyrinths. “Gentlemen,” declared the oldest member, “modern busi- ness is efficient in every respect but one. We have type- writers to save us from writing, elevators to save us from walking, dictaphones to save us from talking, stenographers to save us from thinking. In only one respect has business failed to advance. I refer, gentlemen, to the clumsy method of drawing these intricate geometric patterns by hand, with a simple stub pencil and a bit of blotting paper. “Therefore I suggest that the com- mittee devise a machine which will stamp complete figures on the pad, thus. making our antiquated method of fool- ing away time efficient and up-to-date,” As a storm of applause greeted his words, the youngest member leaped up. “T have a better suggestion,” he said. “Why not have blotters already printed with the concentric circles and diamonds and labyrinths, and hand one to each man when the conference starts?” He got the job. Corey Ford. DD similes—“As unemotional as a window demonstrator.” comicbooks.com