Life, 1925-04-02 · page 29 of 44
Life — April 2, 1925 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes **historical figures making absurd modern requests**. The "Unwritten Letters" section features **Nero**, the Roman emperor infamous for allegedly fiddling while Rome burned, now writing to: 1. **Stradivarius** (famous violin maker) requesting an instrument for a musicale 2. **Pathé News** announcing plans for a "stupendous conflaguration" (fire) for entertainment—a dark joke alluding to his legendary role in Rome's destruction 3. **Irving Berlin** (real music publisher) about acquiring rights to "There'll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town To-night" The humor lies in treating ancient history as contemporary business correspondence, with Nero's requests darkly ironic given his historical infamy. The page also includes **Life's Little Sermons** (moral commentary on reformers), a **Coolidge/Sphinx cartoon** (unclear reference), and a joke about motorists lacking sympathy for accident victims, reflecting 1920s attitudes toward traffic safety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Unwritten Letters IGNOR STRADIVARIUS, Cremona. Dear Sir: Through mutual friends, I have heard a great deal about the very fine type of violin which you are now turn- ing out in your shops. [am planning a large musicale on Tuesday of next week, and would ap- preciate your sending me one of your latest instruments on approval. Very truly yours, N/z Nero, Pathé News, New York City. GENTLEMEN This will advise you that upon Tues- day of next week I am planning a stupendous conflagration for the enter- tainment of myself and a few friends. I think you will find it quite worth while to advise your Italian representa- tive to be on hand for the occasion, Sincerely, N/z Nero, eee Mr. Irving Berli M Publisher, d York City. Drar Str: I am ‘forwarding you under separate cover the words and music of a little tune of mine which has enjoyed re- markable success in this country. I have named it “There'll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town To-night.” I believe that you may be interested in obtaining the American rights to this . 7B reco HOME AGAIN RETURN OF A ROUND-THE-WORLD CRUISER WITH A PARTY OP MOTORISTS ON BOARD tune, and am prepared to offer it to you upon the usual royalty basis. Kindly write or cable your best offer on advance royalties and oblige. Very truly yours, N/z Nexo, IV. K. Ziegfeld, Jr “T CARE not who makes the country’s laws,” mused the successful trial lawyer, “so long as I can pick the jury.” Coolidge (to the Sphinx): cuatTeRBox, Lire's Little Sermons O, the Reformer! He frowncth upon the venial pec- cadillos of mankind and maketh sin more arduous. He raiscth his hands in horror at the plays and casteth wicked writings into the fire. He decrieth the movies and he drapeth works of art in conccaling and modest raiment. He forbiddeth liquor and he smiteth the cigarette. He look- eth afar for new worlds to censor. But consider him not too harshly. For what one of you doth not enjoy that which is forbidden twenty-fold more than warranted pleasure? The highest apple is the sweetest and the farthest flower the most beautiful. So honor the reformer. He maketh sinning more merry. Stuart Little, Had It Coming RST MOTORIST (reading): Here's a motorist injured while try- ing to avoid hitting a pedestrian. Seconp Motorist: I have no sym- pathy for such a soft-headed defeatist. DD similes of 1925—“With the speed of a Congressman raising his own salary.” comicbooks.com