Life — March 5, 1925 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAT ScIssORS AvT NULLus Epitaph for Joseph Conrad Not of the dust, but of the wave His final couch should be; They lie not easy in a grave Who once have known the sea. How shall earth's meager bed enthrall The hardiest seaman of them all? —Countée P. Cullen, in Harper's Nothing New It is announced that a non-stop gramo- phone has been invented. We have often wondered when the man in the next flat would patent his invention. —London Opinion. Sin’s addition to the Similes of 1925: As active as a horseshoe at an Iowa picnic.—New York World. HEAR YOU “Wuat is the feminine for earl?” balled Medel “Well—er—it is usually heiress.” —Pitt Panther. OSTMAN, JANE. MUST Bi ALL THAT EXTRA EXERCISE.” —From Punch (London), by permission. A Massenet Story A fledgling composer took his first opera to Massenet. You know, of course,” began the visitor, “that Moliére used to read his pieces to an old woman, in the belief that scenes which found favor with her would be liked also by the audiences. My reason for asking you to listen to my work is somewhat the same. I know that what- ever pleases you will also please the public.” “You are very kind,” replied Masse. net, “very kind indeed; but really, since you are not Moliére, I see no reason why I should be your old woman.” —Musical Courier. Thrift “At the house party I mistook a cele. brated millionaire for the butler and tipped him a dollar. Afterwards we had a good laugh over the affair.” “A whimsical episode, to be sure.” “Yes, but he never handed back the dollar."—Louisville Courier-Journal. Is “A BURGLAR broke into our house last night.” “What did he get?” “Practice! votre Dame Juggler. Lire is published ¢ every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Live are copyrighted. in Great Britain a; ply ie Live, s ingland, For Reprint Rights Rolis House, Breams Buildings, Fetter The foreign trade ng polieg from Lirt’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Lon: E. C. Canadian distributor, ‘The Americas News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canada, No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped ond eddressed envelope. Live docs mot hold ttseif responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior to the date of issue to be affected. AMES A. GARFIELD used to say that every time he met a small ‘a onthestreet he felt like lifting his hat. The boy might prove to be a Lincoln oraShakespeare. You couldn’t tell by looking at him. Nor can you tell by looking at an automobile tire how far it is built to go. tires and not-so- Good tires look about equally sturdy on the surface. This is more true of tires than of almost any other merchandise you can name. The ear isa better judge of tire values than the eye; reputation, a safer guide than treads and outer casings. So far as Mohawks are concerned, the con- versation of users has built up one of the most loyal and exclusive clienteles in America. In fact, what users say about these superior tires is practically summarized in the words that conclude this edvertisement— Go Farther/ The Mohawk RubberCo., Akron, Ohio. Stage Hand: 1'M GONNA CHUCK THIS JoB, BILL—I WAS BROUGHT UP RESPECTABLE AND I CAN’T STAND FOR THIS HERE “REALISTIC TALK” SHOW NO LONGER. comicbooks.com