Life — March 5, 1925 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ot — | QSEO CARS “I'LL GIVE YOU FIFTY DOLLARS FOR 17.” “FIFTY DOLLARS! SAY, | WOULDN'T EVEN CRANK IT FOR THAT!” Comparative Values “T)R. SMITH seems to be a wonder- ful man,” said Mrs. Snobleigh. “He charged me twenty-five dollars to come and see Mimi.” “Dr. Brown is a robber,” said Mrs, Snobleigh. “He charged me ten dollars to come and see Barbara.” Dr. Smith is the veterinarian, is Mrs, Snobleigh’s Pcke dog. Mimi Dr. Brown is the physician. Barbara is Mrs. Snobleigh’s small daughter. Bar- bara was really sick. Mimi had merely been fed too much candy. So Mrs. Snobleigh paid Dr. Smith, and Dr. Brown is still waiting for his. DRS. ASSER-BY: What are you fishing for? FisHerMan: Oh, I've an open mind. DESPERATE CHARACTERS The Master Mind: FELLERS, DERE’S A WAGON-LOAD 0’ COPS ‘ROUND DE CORNER, BETTER SCATTER AN’ KEEP UNDER COVER UNTIL YE HEAR FROM MF. The Business Primer THE CRED-IT MAN ‘HIS sour lad’s the Cred-it Man, On ev'r-y-thing he puts his ban; When folk for fa-vors to him go, He ver-y rude-ly an-swers “No!” They say he has a home and wife, And pos-si-bly some fun in life— But e-ven if he too had said it The state-ment would be hard to cred-it. THE INTER-OF-FICE TEL-E-PHONE This gadg-et is, as you may guess, An In-ter-Of-fice Phone, no less; You use it when you wish to call Some of-fice far-ther down the hall. But if you wish to talk there-to, So one can hear and an-swer you, Ob-serve this chief-est of con-di-tions: Shout loud-ly o-ver the par-ti-tions! A.C. M, Azoy, Jr. Perspective VolcE from out the eternal mists, to the soul: “Here are a billion universes; choose one! In that universe are a trillion planetary systems ;—choose one! In that planetary system are ten million worlds; —choose one! Now in that world are a million souls waiting to be born. Choose one!” see Forty years later, the soul, addressing @ banquet: “—and in conclusion, allow me to say, gentlemen, that my life's ambition will have been fulfilled if the elevated spur is extended past Sterett’s depart- ment store. It is to this end that I have devoted my energies for so many years: " Arthur Train, Jr. Lire’s Encyclopedia LUMBER—Plombier, Fr.—An arti- san who furnishes bathtubs and fin- ishes pocketbooks. A pitiless person. The word plumber itself was originally synonymous with plunder, to pillage, spoil, rob, ravish, ete.; ¢. g., “The graft- ers plumbered the city.” (Old Chicago proverb.) SLL. 'ABLE—Once a man ordered a dish from a restaurant menu. On re- reading the menu after the waiter had departed he found it was just exactly the dish he had wanted. comicbooks.com