Life, 1925-02-05 · page 23 of 36
Life — February 5, 1925 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of 1920s humor: **"De Profundis"** (Baird Leonard): A poem mocking the idea that romantic love solves financial problems. The speaker tries Shakespeare's approach of thinking about a woman to cure depression, but bills and work demands intrude—implying real-world problems can't be escaped through sentiment. **"The Millennium"**: A fable where a lion and lamb coexist peacefully in paradise, but immediately revert to nature (the lion eats the lamb) when distracted by mundane modern concerns like crossword puzzles and radio tinkering. It satirizes the notion that human nature or civilization can fundamentally change. **Three cartoon panels** on social situations: a courtroom scene with dialect humor; a domestic joke about wives making decisions without husbands' permission (reflecting 1920s gender tensions post-suffrage); and "The New Salesmanship" mocking businessmen who use golf as a social networking tool—suggesting superficial relationship-building in corporate culture. Overall, the page ridicules romantic idealism, utopian thinking, and modern social pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
De Profundis V HEN Shakespeare didn't look so good To Fortune and the neighbors’ cyes, And wished to Heaven that he stood In this and that like other guys, When every blessing that he had (Sce Sonnet No. 29) Upon him suddenly went bad And he was dying on the vine, He simply thought about some dame— The lady widely known as “dark,” —just like that !—contentment came, His spirits mounted with the lark. » longer did he hate himself And sit there thinking gloomy things, Her love meant more than all the pelf And pomp of six or seven kings. I'm low to-day. In fact, I'm sunk. My Walter—well, that boy’s a wow! But Shakespeare’s system is the bunk— ‘¢ tried it twenty minutes now, And unpaid bills for board and bed And God-knows-what-else seem to lurk Maliciously within my head. . I think I'll do a little work. Baird Leonard. The Millennium HE time had come when all mortal errors had been corrected in this sphere of sin and sorrow, and Gabriel, after looking over the situation with an proving eye, sounded his trump, The lion and the lamb, who had been ex- pecting the summons, immediately lay down together. “Charming occasion, is it not, old 2” asked the lamb. “Altogether enjoyable, my dear fel- low,” agreed the lion. “You know, I've been anxious to get chummy with for years and years, but—well, you know what people have expected Awfully sorry to have been foreed to eat so many of your relatives.” “I quite understand,” responded the lamb. “Conventionalities and all that sort of thing. By the way, do you do crossword puzzles? Now, the one last night in the Evening Celestial—” “I really have no time for such foolishness,” retorted the lion, sternly. “T put in last evening tinkering on my superheterodyne, and—will you believe me?—TI got Nome, Alaska——” of us. Judge: YOU SAY YOU WERE NEVER IN THIS COURT BEFORE? Defendant: xo, sun. VVE CERTAINLY yAS, SUH; “Number Twelve Horizontal almost had me stopped,” interrupted the lamb. “It was a word in seven letters mean- ing ‘water-plug,’ and I worked on it for hours before——” “—and if those fool amateurs hadn't been butting in——" “—I discovered that it meant—" “—I could have gotten Pekin as easy as not, while—" DIS AM MAM FUST AN’ ONLIEST TIME. SEEN YOUR FACE a you suo’ HAS—I'se Yo" BOOTLEGGUH.” SOMEWHER! “—'Hydrant,’ whereas Number Six—” Whereupon the lion, vexed beyond endurance, thoughtlessly devoured the lamb, and the entire scheme of evolu- tion had to be started all over again. Tip Bliss, OBODY feels quite so unimportant as the man whose wife bobbed her hair without asking his permission % THE NEW SALESMANSHIP “Is MR, BUSIMAN IN?” “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM ABouT?” “GOLF AS A STARTER. I BELIEVE THAT IS CONSIDERED THE PROPER APPROACH.” comicbooks.com